


Broken webbings

by MagicalSprinkler



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Feels, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Feels, Missions Gone Wrong, Natasha Feels, Natasha-centric, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-18 09:11:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7308808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalSprinkler/pseuds/MagicalSprinkler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A post-CACW fanfic, (way more than a few months post CACW)</p><p>The Avengers are still split up and Natasha's mostly been on the run since the events of Civil War.<br/>But while she's on a small, seemingly insignificant mission for Maria Hill, her relatively quiet life in hiding comes to an end as her past comes back to haunt her and threatens to bring her web down along with it.<br/>However, on her journey to defeat her tormentor, she encounters a familiar face that causes both inner and outer complications.</p><p>OR: Basically it's a missions gone wrong fic, that eventually leads to Bucky and Natasha finally getting back together. Partially a lot of feels and angst, but hopefully not too much.<br/>Might also contain some fluff-ish scenes of happiness, if that becomes the case it's because I just couldn't help myself.<br/>As one of the tags read, this fanfic is mostly Natasha-centric, but I promise that Bucky will have lots of POV's as well once he enters the story.<br/>The first few chapters will be used to set up the plot.<br/>If you decide to give it a read, I hope you enjoy it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I spy with my little eye

**Author's Note:**

> As I stated in the (poorly written) summary, the first few chapters will be used to set up the underlying plot of the fanfic, but hopefully everything will make sense eventually!  
> Without further a due, I hope you'll enjoy reading every chapter. :)

As the man began taking off his white blazer, Natasha fixed her sunglasses, watching his every relaxed move from the corner of her eye as she continued reading her newspaper. The sun shone brightly, not a single cloud in the sky or even a hint of a breeze in the dry air.  
She took a sip of her glass of water as the man sat down by his table, the very table that happened to be located just in front of her own.  
The café was packed with people, just like the busy city street it was situated on. All around her people talking, laughing, arguing, remaining silent. Faint music could be heard from a speaker somewhere, the smell of cigarette smoke reaching her nose as an elderly woman passed by.  
  
The man began to devour the meal he’d ordered with great gusto, checking his phone every once in a while with an unbothered expression on his weathered face.  
Natasha observed casually, just like she’d done on countless missions before. Eventually, the man asked for his bill, a waiter giving him a polite smile upon handing it to him.  
The man tipped poorly.  
As he stood up and packed up his belongings, Natasha remained still, waiting for him to get going. She took out her purse as the waiter passed her by, leaving what she owed for her lunch beside the empty plate, tipping a little more than usual just because.  
And just as the man became nothing more than another head in the crowd, she followed.  
  
A few blocks later, he took a left turn, heading into a narrow alleyway. She watched him enter before briefly looking up at the many clotheslines hanging between the two buildings. Shadows of socks, sheets and shirts played on the brick walls, the many fabrics moving subtly in the warm breeze.  
A few minutes earlier, the man had taken up his phone once again and instantly upped his pace, meaning that something had been changed drastically. Likely to his disadvantage. His posture had become tense and uneasy, his eyes more and more frequently scanning his surrounding as he’d carried on walking.  
Natasha knew it wouldn't be long now. It wouldn't be long until whatever he was afraid of, would happen.  
But she was determined to get to him before that.  
As the man stopped in his tracks to answer yet another text, she closed in silently, confidently. It was only a matter of time before he’d notice her. When he did she would have to act quickly.  
  
And sure enough, she was right. When she was only a few feet away, he looked up, his eyes widening in terror at the sight of her.  
‘Good afternoon, Mr. Lucas.’ she said slyly, her hands resting deep inside the pockets of her beige coat, one of them lightly playing with the trigger of a small handgun.  
He turned away from her, throwing the cellphone against one of the walls with all of the strength he could muster, both of them watching it crash into pieces.  
‘You know as well as I do that you won’t survive this day.’ she continued with a low voice, the hint of a grin on her painted lips. ‘But I can guarantee you a much quicker, infinitely less painful death than the one you’ll get at the hands of the other ones who are after you. I only ask one thing in return.’  
‘What do you want?!’ he asked in despair, his entire body trembling.  
‘Information.’ Natasha answered casually, casting a fleeting glance at a bird sitting on a windowsill above them. ‘Tell me what you know of Project Jupiter.’  
At this, the man let out a strange laughter, catching her instant attention.  
‘They told me you’d come.' he began with a low voice. 'That Maria would send you and nobody else. And sure enough, here you are, hair as red as blood. Blood that will never forget that you were the one who shed it.’  
  
Instinctively, Natasha punched him.  
The force of the blow caused him to lose balance and crash straight into the side of a dumpster. She watched him slide to the ground as his now severely crooked nose began to swell. The words he'd spoken had sounded somewhat rehearsed, not his own but someone else's.  
‘You didn't answer my question.’ she said with a blank voice, watching him rise with unsteady feet.  
‘You’ll figure it out soon enough.’ he began, looking into her eyes with a piercing gaze, his breathing shallow and quick.  
‘Go on, kill me then. It won’t make a difference. I’ll be just another number in your kill count, Widow. They’re coming for you.’  
As she realized she’d been set up, that someone was trying to get to her, Natasha quickly pulled the trigger.  
  
When blood began to pour from the hole on his forehead and his body became limp, she crouched down to search him. And Inside one of the pockets of his tailored blazer, she found a small, handwritten note.  
_You are not alone in your own web anymore, Natalia._  
She crumbled the note with her hand as she stood up, holding it in her clenched fist as she walked out of the alleyway without as much as a glance over her shoulder.  
As she dove her hands into the pockets of her coat once more, she took a deep breath and thought back at what had transpired in that alleyway, her gaze fixed on a mannequin in a shop window. The crumbled note that grazed the palm of her hand as she continued to walk felt like a fire that burned through her skin, scorching her lungs.  
She needed to get away.


	2. The name of the game

‘What?!’ Maria Hill questioned with a hint of annoyance in her voice, nearly raising from her seat behind her desk.  
‘I’m pulling out of the Project Jupiter mission, Maria. I wouldn't do it if it wasn't absolutely necessary, you know that.’ Natasha responded coolly, stepping up to the window.   
‘Did you at least get any useful information out of the target?’  
Natasha looked down on the street far below, watching the many cars as they drove left and right. For a brief moment, she wondered where they were all going, what the people inside of them were thinking of as she remained silent.   
‘No.’ she finally answered, not wanting to reveal that Mr. Lucas had most likely only been used as a means to get to her. ‘It was a waste of time, but he’s at least no longer a problem.’   
‘What’s going on, Romanoff?’ Maria questioned, managing to sound equally concerned and suspicious.   
‘Someone is after me.’ Natasha replied shortly, wanting anything else than to dive into details.  
‘You know we can assist you.’   
Natasha turned around on the spot. ‘I know.’ she began as they locked eyes, even though she knew very well that this was something she could only face by herself. ‘But there’s nothing you can do. I need to figure this out on my own. I need to disappear for a while.’   
Maria let out a small sigh, turning her attention to her computer, writing something down as an unreadable expression crossed her face.  
‘I’ll reassign your part in the Project Jupiter mission to another agent. Will I be able to contact you if we need you to come in?’   
‘I’ll keep in touch. But until I do, don‘t contact me.’ Natasha answered shortly before heading out of the office, first and foremost wanting to do some damage control and figure out just how much of her web had been infected.   
Most likely it wasn't even something to worry about, since many had tried and failed to bring her and her web down in the past. But still, she knew she couldn’t just let it slide.   
With quick steps, she hurried down the corridor. It seemed to be much longer than usual, as if someone had stretched it out just to taunt her.   
She wanted to get out of the building unseen, keen to avoid the wondering gazes of strangers, to avoid letting anyone see her even the slightest off guard.   
Before long, she finally reached the elevator, eagerly waiting for its doors to close behind her. And as the journey downward started, Natasha began to reflect on her current situation.

She took the note out of her pocket, reading the hastily scribbled words over and over again. She didn't recognize the somewhat shaky handwriting, making her wonder even more as to who had written it and what they wanted from her.   
Most likely revenge. It always seemed to be.   
Perhaps the note had been written by Mr. Lucas himself, perhaps not. Maybe time would tell.

The metal doors opened again. The elevator had reached the garage, a subtle smell of tires and gasoline meeting her as she stepped forward. The clunky heels of her boots clacked against the asphalt as she walked, the sound echoing around her.  
Ever since the Sokovia Accords and the many fights that had ensued because of it, she’d taken a break from the Avengers and gone under the radar. Partly to avoid being captured by the government, partly to get a much needed change of company.  
So she’d begun to take on smaller, solo missions instead, handling all of her contacts by herself. A means to earn easy pay checks whilst keeping as low of a profile as possible.   
And even though the government had stopped chasing her by now, she still hadn't gone back to the Avengers.   
She still hadn't figured out how or what she felt about it all, she just knew she still needed time to be alone. But being alone, without being able to hide behind the shield of the Avengers also meant that she was more exposed to her past and everything that came with it.   
Which what apparently what had happened when Maria had approached her with the Project Jupiter mission.

Natasha played with the car keys in her hand, constantly rethinking her plan of action. She needed to head back to her main apartment in New York, to see if it had been searched by her chasers. That could give her a clue as to how she’d come one step ahead of them. She was good at that.  
After all, it was what she’d been trained to do. To always be one step ahead of her target.

* * *

 

A little more than half an hour later, Natasha entered the apartment building, scanning every detail of the stairway as she headed up.   
There were no signs of anything being out of place, even the slightest. Everything looked just like it had a couple of weeks ago, when she’d last slept at the place.   
But if there was one thing she knew, it was that the more untouched something seemed to be, the more could be going on beneath the surface. And sure enough, with every step she came closer to her floor, the stronger the inkling in her gut grew. She almost knew for sure that someone had searched her apartment.   
It was only a matter of just how much they had found out.   
Gun at the ready, Natasha reached her floor, the corridor eerily empty. She fixed her blank gaze at her door, wondering what sight would meet her on the other side.   
Slowly, she passed by the door of her neighbour Elena.   
For a split second, Natasha stopped to look at it, hoping Elena was still at work in case the situation got ugly. She liked Elena, always had. Even though they hardly knew eachother, there had always been an unspoken understanding between them.   
So she hoped she wasn't home.

Soundlessly, Natasha put the key into the keyhole and twisted it, the door opening with a faint click. The lights were off in the apartment, but she could rely on her other senses enough to navigate through the darkness until she was certain she was alone. After having checked the kitchen, bathroom and living room, she made her way towards the bedroom. The last room.   
Its white door was slightly ajar, the sound of curtains billowing in the wind reaching her ears. As she made her way inside, she came across the smell of fresh blood.   
The person who’d rummaged through her apartment was gone, most likely having exited through the opened bedroom window. But that wasn't what she was thinking of at the moment.   
Her eyes were fixed on the motionless, lifeless body tied to a chair standing in a corner of the other side of the room.

The warm lights coming from the street outside meant she didn't have to look closely to recognize who it was. It was a tall, slender woman. She had long, black hair, her dead eyes staring up at the ceiling. Elena.   
There was a deep cut across her throat, the knife laying in her lap. The blood from the wound had run down her torso, soaking a large portion of her purple, cotton night gown. Her arms were heavily bruised, the ropes tied around her wrists and ankles having dug into her skin. In her left hand was a small note.  
Natasha kneeled by Elena’s side, releasing her from her restraints. She took a hold of the knife and placed it on the nearby desk. Then, she carried her to the bed, carefully laying her down on the freshly laundered sheets.   
Natasha looked at her expressionless face, studying her features as a cool wrath filled her body. She lifted her hand, gently closing Elena’s eyes as she mentally began to plan for where she’d go from there. Then, she gently took out the bloodstained note from Elena’s hand, unfolding it quickly, reading it’s words over and over again.   
_She suffered, and so will you._   
As Natasha analysed the slanted handwriting, the resentment spread to her very fingertips. She didn't have to look at the familiar symbol drawn beside the sentence to know who had written the note, who was behind it all.   
Maven.

Elena hadn't deserved to suffer, she hadn't deserved to die at all. Unlike herself, she had been a good person. An innocent civilian who’d been dragged into something she had no reason to be a part of.  
Natasha turned her gaze towards the curtains, watching them move subtly in the evening breeze, not really able to get moving just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this was the second "setting up the plot" chapter, I hope you liked it! :)


	3. Ready or not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of the three "setting up the plot" chapters, after that, a certain someone might enter the story ;)

‘We’re even now, right Nat?’ Nicole asked with a mixture of suspicion and apprehension as she handed Natasha the last of the papers.  
The fan on her wooden desk hummed loudly as it slowly made it’s jerky rotation from left to right and back again. Through the half-open window, sounds from the busy street below seeped into the office, filling the silence with the afternoon buzz of traffic, the honking of horns and the occasional slam from the nearby construction site.

Natasha browsed through the papers thoroughly, making sure everything she needed was there. Then, she looked up at Nicole again, who stared back at her with an eyebrow raised.  
‘For now.’ Natasha responded with a low voice before placing the papers in her leather briefcase.  
‘God damn you can be annoyingly smug, has anyone ever told you that?’ Nicole groaned, opening up the beer as she leaned back in her chair again, the yellow sunlight hitting her face.  
A hint of a smile spread across Natasha’s lips as she briefly fixed her gaze on the lush plant on the windowsill. She knew that Nicole’s information was up to date, it always was.  
And considering that she couldn’t possibly know how many of her cellphones and laptops that had been hacked, there had been no other option than to collect the information the old fashioned way. Face to face, paper copies.  
But she didn't care that much about what she had yet to learn, she’d find out what she needed eventually. No, the most vital information at this point in time, was information she had already figured out. Who was after her, and why.

‘I have to say I’m surprised that you think a college kid might've hacked you.’ Nicole said teasingly, kicking her feet up on her desk.  
Natasha chuckled, shaking her head faintly. ‘Yeah, thanks for the reminder.’  
Nicole raised her beer towards her, winking as a smirk crossed her face.  
‘Anytime.’ she said contently before taking a sip.  
‘Enjoy your beer.’ Natasha said as they smiled at one another, looking at her one last time before turning around.  
‘Next time, bring something to eat aswell!’ Nicole shouted behind her as she exited the office.

* * *

 

After a surprisingly uneventful journey towards her next target, Natasha had reached Omar’s apartment.  
She was watching him from the shadows, having already gone through the other rooms in search for valuable information as well as potential future troubles. The air in the small living-room he was sitting in was stale, revealing that he most likely hadn't moved any great distances the last couple of days. Adding the stale air to the sight of multiple fast-food containers, dirty plates and empty water bottles scattered around him, she figured he was most likely too afraid to leave his apartment. Understandable.

He let out a yawn, one of his legs twitching, the brightness from the computer screen in front of him the only light in the room.  
Natasha decided it was time to act, soundlessly walking towards him, stopping a few feet away.  
‘Hello, Omar.’ she said lowly, watching him jerk violently at the sudden sound of her voice.  
Omar spun around his chair in order to face her, letting out a shaky sigh as they locked eyes.  
‘Fuck, I thought you wouldn't come for me.’ he stuttered as she continued to watch him. ‘Look, I’m sorry for hacking into your-’  
‘I figure Maven left out the fact that she’d have you killed if I dropped by.’ she interrupted calmly.  
Omar blinked, instantly tensing up. ‘Wh-what?’  
‘I know you haven’t been in this kind of business for very long, but still. I thought you would have figured that out on your own.’ Natasha continued musingly, taking a slow step towards him. ‘But no need to worry, you’re safe for now.’  
‘How can I be?’ he questioned, almost sounding confident.  
‘I took care of it.’ she answered bluntly.  
Omar looked at her with an agonized expression. ‘Even if you've managed to take care of it, you’re still here so you’re gonna kill me instead aren’t you?’  
At this, Natasha smirked. ‘Are college students always this pessimistic?’ she teased. ‘You don’t have to die tonight if you co-operate.’  
‘And do what?’

‘I need you to tell me everything Maven instructed you to do, how much of it you succeeded with, and then I want you to hack something for me.’ she explained calmly as she leaned against the wall.  
He let out a nervous laughter, straightening his back. ‘But if I do that, she’ll have me killed.’  
‘Didn't I just say to you that I’d taken care of that? That you’re safe from her for now?’ Natasha questioned. ‘If you do as I say I will make sure that you are safe from her quite a while longer.’ she continued, watching as Omar anxiously looked around the room. ‘Wouldn't want you to give up on your promising future so early, would we?’  
‘And how do I know that you will?’ he asked after a short silence, once again making eye-contact.  
‘Well if you’re thinking about not taking me up on my generous offer, then you really are new to the business.’ she taunted with a sly smirk on her lips.  
He heaved a strained sigh, rubbing his face with his hands. ‘Okay, okay. Fine, I’ll do it!’  
‘Good. Now tell me everything.’

‘Maven contacted me a few weeks ago, offered me a lot of money to hack into as much of your tech as possible in order to give her information on your web and your location.’ he explained with a slight tremble in his low voice.  
She understood that he was frightened, and she was glad he was. Frightened people, especially inexperienced ones, tended to be worse at lying.  
‘And did you succeed?’  
‘Not with that much.’ Omar continued, his body still tense. ‘I managed to locate many of your safe houses and track your movements through your cellphone until you stopped using it, but that’s about it. You’re very difficult to hack.’  
‘Good.’ Natasha said blankly. ‘I want you to hack into as many of Maven’s bank accounts and other funds. Destroy her economy to the extent that you can.’  
Omar shook his head, staring at the floor with widened eyes. ‘Man, I’m so dead.’  
‘Don’t worry, I think you can manage.’ she said indifferently, handing him a cellphone. ‘Keep a keen eye on this, Omar. I’ll notify you through it exactly when I want you to do the job. Be ready, you’ll have to be quick.’  
He placed the cellphone on the desk right next to the computer. ‘I’ll do my best.’  
’Oh, and one last thing before I leave you.’ she added seriously. ’The moment I exit your apartment, is the moment you get ready to get going too.’  
Omar blinked, looking confused. ’Wait, what?’ he immediately questioned, but she quickly silenced him.

’I suspect that you and Maven came up with some kind of arrangement so that she could check up on you. And that won’t work for either of us.’ Natasha explained, taking a step back. ’I’ll send you a short text once I’m well on my way and when you receive it, you have fifteen minutes to get out of here and make it to the safe house that I’ve set up for you. You will stay there until I contact you and tell you that the coast is clear.’ she continued, ignoring his attempts to protest. ’And don’t worry about the address of the safe house, I’ll send you instructions on how to get there. The only thing you have to think about is to act as though everything is normal. Respond to all of your calls and texts like you usually would. It wouldn't surprise me if you've been bugged.’  
’I’m sensing I don’t get to have a say in any of this.’ Omar said as he stared down at the floor with a disheartened look on his face.  
’No you don’t.’ she said blankly. ’But you do get something far more valuable, something that is offered to far from all people. You get to walk out of this alive. And, if you do your part extremely well, I might even hire you again. And that time, if it comes, you might even get paid.’  
’Oh, okay.’ he mumbled, watching her intently.  
’Now snap out of your insecurities about the situation before I change my mind.’ she said coldly, putting on her black wig again before heading for the hallway.  
’I’ll do my best, I promise!’ he shouted after her anxiously as she tied the belt around her trench coat. 


	4. The stranger

A lukewarm breeze played with Natasha’s hair as she exited her car and began to walk towards her destination, which this time was an old, abandoned house.  
The house was situated in the middle of a vast meadow, which in turn was surrounded by an even vaster forest on three of its sides, a road on the fourth. She stepped out on the meadow, scanning her surroundings ever so often as she unhurriedly made her way to the house.  
Large, grey clouds covered the sky, the temperature dropping slightly. Natasha took out her phone from her pocket and looked at the time. Then, she sent a short text to Omar, setting the next step of her plan in motion.

The windows of the house were completely dark, like menacing eyes that watched her every move as she closed in. Many of the white, lace curtains had large holes in them, some entirely missing. All around the house there were overgrown bushes and dead flowerbeds, only adding further to the abandoned and run-down appearance of the place. She stepped up on the rickety porch, ignoring the uneasy feeling growing in her gut as she took one last look around her, her eyes briefly getting stuck watching one of the many mountains in the distance. Upon entering the house she was met by cold, dusty air and an eerie silence that was only broken by the occasional howling of the wind. The large kitchen was situated directly to the right, the living room and downstairs bathroom to the left. But neither of those rooms were of particular interest at the moment, she’d give them a quick once-over on the way out. If everything went according to plan, that was. She gradually moved along, constantly on the lookout for signs of anything that could become a problem.

She turned a corner, her eyes momentarily fixing themselves on the window on the far side of the corridor she'd entered. A crow was sitting on its windowpane, moving its head twitchingly before eventually flying off, its wings flapping violently. Natasha quickly decided to keep on going, her goal only a few feet ahead. What she was after was a digital keypad, hidden in the wall behind a portrait painting. Not the most original of hiding places.

The painting wasn't particularly large, its dust covered, gilded frame making up most of its size. She noted that one of the frame’s corners had been severely damaged.  
The painting itself, just like its busted frame, had suffered from a severe lack of care. It was a portrait of a young girl, the brushstrokes somewhat harsh and careless. For a brief moment, Natasha got caught in observing it, something in the little girl’s watchful eyes making it difficult to look away. She couldn’t help but wonder if the girl was somehow connected to Maven.

But she soon reminded herself of her mission, carefully lifting the painting from the crooked nail that held it to the wall before placing it on the nearby empty bookshelf. Then, she turned her focus to the keypad itself.  
However, as she lifted her glove-covered finger to punch in the six-digit code, her attention shifted to something else.  
A barely audible thud coming from the kitchen.  
Instantly, she readied her Widow’s bite bracelets, listening intently for further sounds of movement. Despite the fact that there came none within the next few seconds, Natasha decided to ignore the keypad for the time being and head towards the source of the interruption. Better to be safe than sorry. She found herself regretting the choice to not thoroughly check out the rooms she’d previously passed by on her way to the keypad. Soundlessly, she sneaked back towards the hallway, wondering who or what she was about to face. If she was about to face anything at all, that was.  
She momentarily glanced down at the floor, watching how a small ray of sunlight managed to break through the lid of clouds in the sky, creating a faint reflection of one of the windows on the dusty, wooden floor. Then it came, another hint in the form of a squeaking floorboard.  
Someone was sneaking towards her, only the corner between the hallway and the corridor separating them. She inhaled deeply, the calm before a fight settling over her as she took those last few steps towards the corner, leaning carefully against the wall.  
Both of them stopped simultaneously, only the very edge of the corner now standing between them. The stranger was so close at this point that she could almost hear them draw breath. She knew it wouldn't be long now.  
One last second of quiet.  
The second quickly came and went and she fearlessly delved forward with her one of her Widow’s bites raised, only to find herself completely taken aback.

They blinked, staring at eachother as they slowly lowered their weapons, neither of them managing to find any words to say.  
‘Well this was unexpected.’ Natasha finally managed to utter after a tense silence, still not quite able to breathe properly, her previously calm heart beating as though it was about to jump out of her chest.  
‘It was.’ Bucky responded somewhat mechanically, just as, if not more affected by the sudden encounter than her.  
Upon realizing that this was the most they’d talked to eachother since their former handlers had severed their relationship, she was hit with a wave of emotions she’d decided long ago to bury along with that whole part of her life.

He was wearing an outfit similar to the one he’d worn when she’d last seen him, during the fight at Leipzig. His hair was still long, a five-day stubble still covering his cheeks. Even though he almost looked the same, one thing was different. His metal arm.  
The new one wasn't too different from the original, except that the metal was a bit lighter and there was no red star painted on it. Courtesy of T’Challa, as Steve had informed her a few months ago.

‘What are you doing here?’ Bucky asked with a low voice, his question thankfully enough to snatch her out of the increasingly harsher grip that her own thoughts had gotten around her mind.  
‘Searching for a lead on someone.’ Natasha answered cryptically, the reality of the situation finally starting to sink in. ‘You?’  
‘Searching for weapon-schematics.’ he replied, looking at her as if trying to figure something out.

Before either of them could say or do anything else to make the moment less surreal, they were interrupted by the sound of a helicopter flying in overhead.  
‘Were you expecting company?’ she asked, wondering just how much more her plans for the day were going to be altered as she tried to focus.  
He shook his head, readying his assault rifle again. ‘No. You?’  
‘No.’ Natasha responded shortly, heading into the corridor again to make sure it was all clear, Bucky close behind.  
All of the sudden, the window where the crow had been sitting a few minutes earlier crashed, two mercenaries jumping in, guns aimed and ready. Instantly, she kicked Bucky back into the hallway to shield him from the incoming bullets.  
As she ran after him, they locked eyes, deciding then and there to work together to end the fight as quickly as possible. When the two mercenaries made their way towards the hallway, the front door burst open, five more of them running inside.  


Simultaneously, Bucky and Natasha dove into the kitchen, placing themselves on either side of the doorframe. As soon the first of the mercenaries tried to enter, Natasha swiftly punched the man in the throat before she quickly shot him after having taken out a gun from one of her thigh-holsters.  
In the meantime, Bucky shot the two who followed closest behind.  
Then, they once again made eye-contact, deciding to head out the window through a series of subtle hand gestures.

Natasha shot at the window as Bucky handled three more mercenaries coming after them, the glass breaking loudly as she jumped up on the rickety kitchen table.  
She landed on the grass with soft thud, rolling forward before swiftly rising to her feet. Bucky’s landing on the other hand was surprisingly unsmooth, dirt and gravel splattering around him as his leather boots dug deep into the dry ground.

They barely had time to take another step before the helicopter caught sight of them and a machinegun began to fire at them from its newly opened door.  
Bucky instantly pushed her behind him to protect her as he deflected the bullets with his metal arm, his free hand diving into one of the pockets of his pants, taking out what she figured was some kind of grenade.  
Natasha dove for cover behind the nearest corner of the house, flinging her arms around the neck of the mercenary who’d just stuck his head out of the window above her, pulling him outside using her bodyweight.

As she shocked his temples with her Widow‘s bites, a loud explosion drenched all other sounds, her ears ringing as she cast a look around the corner, watching as the remains of the helicopter plummeted from the sky.

Then, she her focus turned to Bucky, who was currently running in her direction in order to avoid standing close to the soon-to-be crash site. Before long, the flames of the burning wreckage had latched on to the house, the wooden planks starting to crackle as the last mercenary ran outside with her weapons raised at them. Simultaneously, Bucky and Natasha aimed their guns at her, the stand-off ending quickly with the mercenary falling to the ground, the blood from her wounds drenching the soil beneath her.But just when they thought the fight was finished, two jeeps came into view on the nearby road, tires screeching loudly as they took a sharp turn straight towards them.  
‘I have a car a few minutes away.’ Natasha said, pointing towards the forest. ‘I’d say that’s our best choice.’  
Bucky didn't respond in any other way than running in the direction she’d pointed, which she interpreted as a strong, silent agreement.

The windows of the jeeps were rolled down, black-clad people looking out of them, rifles in their glove-covered hands. As she ran, she aimed her guns at the tires of the left jeep whilst Bucky aimed his at the right one‘s.  
The puncturing of the tires caused the jeeps to crash into eachother, creating a bad enough collision to allow Natasha and Bucky to finally get away.

* * *

 

Natasha gazed into the rear-view mirror with narrowed eyes, watching the empty road behind them just to make sure they still weren't being followed.  
Then, she cast a fleeting glance at Bucky, who was staring almost robotically into the distance. She noted that his lips were faintly pouted as they often were when he was deep in thought.  
‘I have a safe house a couple of hours from here. I’m spending the night there before I continue on. You can come with me if you want to.’ she offered, wondering what was going through his mind, or her own for that matter. ‘Otherwise I can just drop you off at a suitable place along the way.’

She still couldn’t believe the fact that he was sitting there beside her, or that they were possibly sharing the night in the same building. It was if she every other second was being thrown between feeling like she’d been punched in the gut, and feeling like she couldn’t do anything other than to look at him.  
Part of her wanted him to take up her offer while the other part of her was praying that he wouldn't.  
He shot a glance her way, his expression still blank. ‘If it’s no trouble, I’ll pick the safe house.’  
Both of them fixed their eyes on the road again, a strange silence settling between them as they slowly came out of their mission-modes, neither of them knowing what to say.

‘Who were you searching for a lead on?’ he suddenly asked, an undertone in his voice that she couldn’t quite figure out.  
Natasha’s expression remained unfazed, despite the fact that she’d begun to question her decision to invite him to stay. The way his presence currently made her feel wasn't worth it, she knew that deep down.  
‘Someone who’s after me.’ she answered shortly before quickly changing the subject, not wanting to delve into detail. ‘Why were you there alone?’  
She momentarily turned towards him, finding him looking at her with a mix of contemplation and something that almost looked like worry.  
However, the uncomfortable feeling that the eye-contact gave her caused her to hastily look away again.

He cleared his throat somewhat awkwardly, shifting slightly in his seat. ‘It was supposed to be Sam’s mission, actually, since Steve still doesn't want me to do solo missions.’ he began to explain. ‘But when I found out that today is the death anniversary of Sam’s friend Riley, I offered to take the mission instead. Sam shouldn't have to spend a day like this on duty.’ he continued, his eyes revealing what his expression tried to hide. ‘So Steve’s with Sam and his family, and I’m here. Shame that the mission didn't go as planned.’  
‘Not all missions are perfectly executed.’ she said with a soft smile on her lips, his explanation giving her some peace of mind. ’What matters is that Sam is where he should be.’  
She looked up at the sky, noting that it was getting progressively darker and cloudier.  
The rain couldn’t be far away.  
Bucky let out a quiet chuckle. ‘Yeah.’ he mumbled absentmindedly. ’I was supposed to get the weapon schematics back to them by tomorrow afternoon, but I guess that’s not gonna happen.’  
And much like she had predicted, a light rain soon began to fall, creating a faint trickling sound as it fell against the car.  
She had so many questions for him, but she knew it wasn't the time or the place to ask them. For neither him nor her. But a part of her told her that she didn't ask him anything because she was afraid of the answers he'd give her. So instead, Natasha kept her focus on the road.

When they’d driven a few miles, she once again managed to face him, pain striking her gut as she saw his expression.  
He looked worn out beyond words, something hazy and absentminded in his eyes as he stared down at the floor.  
‘You look tired.’ she said calmly, ignoring her own doubts about the whole situation. ‘Go to sleep and I’ll wake you up when we reach somewhere we can buy some supplies.’  
Instantly, Bucky turned to look at her.  
‘Are you sure?’ he asked uncertainly, studying her expression intently with what ounce of energy he seemed to have left.  
At this, Natasha couldn't help but smile. ‘I wouldn't have offered otherwise.’ she replied softly, whereupon a hint of a smirk spread across his lips.  
‘Okay.’ he hummed lowly, eventually allowing his eyes to close.  
She focused on her driving again, fixing her gaze at the upcoming intersection as she resisted the urge to sigh, not really wanting to be left alone with her thoughts.


	5. The spider’s trace on pages and in memories

‘Wake up, we’re here.’ Natasha said as she lightly punched Bucky’s upper arm.  
Instantly opening his eyes, he sat up straight and looked around somewhat confusedly as he inhaled deeply.  
‘Thanks for letting me sleep for a while.’ he said gratefully as they locked eyes.  
She smirked. ‘You looked like you needed it.’  
He slightly furrowed his brows, an unreadable expression on his face. ’How long have we been driving?’  
Natasha removed her seatbelt, turning off the engine.  
‘A few hours.’ she said shortly, casting a glance at the gas station in the distance.  
Then, she turned around in her seat, reaching for an old jacket that was currently laying on the backseat.  
‘Here,’ she began as she handed it to him. ‘it's one of Steve's. He left it in this car during a mission over a year ago. Hopefully it'll fit well enough for you to hide your arm.’

After having put it on, Bucky opened the glove-compartment, making her wonder what he was looking for. Apparently having found it, he took out a grey, knitted beanie.  
‘Can I borrow this?’ he asked as he unexpectedly searched for eye-contact, his gaze causing her body for a split-second to react as though she'd been pushed into freezing water.  
She nodded, quickly looking away as she put the car keys into one of the pockets of her own jacket. ‘Sure.’  
She should've figured he'd want as much coverage as possible to minimize the risk of someone recognizing him. Deciding to do the same, she made due with what she had and put on her hoodie, covering her hair as much as possible.

* * *

 

The automatic doors of the gas station opened silently, cheerful music playing on low volume from the speakers by the entrance.  
An elderly woman stood behind the counter, smiling politely at them as they entered. ‘Good afternoon!’ she greeted them warmly, whereupon Bucky and Natasha responded with courteous nods.  
However, the woman’s friendly expression changed into one of confusion and worry as they came closer. She examined their dirt-stained shoes and pants with a judging gaze. Thankfully, neither of them wore jackets that had been exposed to the fight, witch meant they’d been used to cover the few bloodstains on the upper parts of their uniforms.

Together, Bucky and Natasha began browsing through for supplies. They didn't speak to one another as they headed down aisle after aisle, somehow managing to agree on what to pick without the use of words. A man passed them by, glaring at them with a mixture of apprehension and curiosity.  
‘This is quite the contrast to earlier.’ Bucky remarked blankly, stopping in front of the dairy section.  
She glanced at him, wondering what was going through his mind.  
A smile crossed her lips as she reached for the milk. ‘Well I think we can rest easy for the moment, grocery shopping tends to be rather uneventful.’  
Bucky smirked, briefly looking at her, an almost playful gleam in his eyes.  
‘You never know.’ he responded slyly as he took a hold of a carton of eggs.  
Natasha placed two beers, along with bread and butter into their basket before they continued their slow walk, neither of them giving much thought to the fact that they were on the run.

A couple standing by the DVDs watched them intently as they reached the snacks aisle, prompting Natasha and Bucky to glance at one another.  
‘We should change into something more discreet.’ he mumbled, watching her as she threw a pack of chips into the basket.  
As they turned around, they simultaneously noticed a set of clothing racks right beside a door with an “ _employees only_ ” sign on it. They looked at one another, nodding in unison as they got the same idea.

Bucky began browsing through the sweaters, each one of them appearing to be weirder than the last one. Natasha looked at the small selection of pants, not a single pair of them free from at least one statement written in large, bold letters.  
For a moment, she wondered whether it wasn't more discreet to continue wearing what she currently had on.  
‘You don’t happen to have a bunch of inconspicuous clothes hidden away in one of those pockets of yours?’ she asked as she pulled out a bright turquoise t-shirt with bears and eagles all over it.  
He shook his head, comparing two different sizes of sweatshirts. ‘Sorry.’

And sure enough, a couple of minutes, a payment and a polite request later, they'd been granted permission to change in the break room.  
The door closed behind them soundlessly, the fluorescent lights in the ceiling clanking loudly as they were switched on. It wasn't a particularly large room, which forced them to stand closer together than she might have wanted.  
Natasha placed her newly bought outfit on top of the TV, wasting no time starting to change. To her right, she could hear Bucky do the same, zippers unzipping, shoes getting kicked off.

As she tugged off her t-shirt, she could feel him eyeing her. She decided to ignore it, but no more than a few seconds later, he spoke.  
‘Am I the cause of any of those scars?‘ he asked, his voice frail and insecure. ‘I know… I mean, I remember shooting you back in DC when I was still controlled by Hydra. But I think I shot you another time aswell, during another… mission.’ he added uncertainly, clearly made extremely uncomfortable by his own words.

She looked up at him, seemingly unfazed by his question, her expression almost frustratingly unreadable.  
‘You‘re right. You did shoot me twice, which in turn resulted in both of these scars.’ she answered calmly, not breaking eye-contact, her words hitting him like a brick. ‘One from DC, one from Odessa.’  
Instantly, he was thrown back into the reality of everything he’d done as The Winter Soldier. Guilt, pain and regret quickly swelling up inside of him as he looked away from her.

He didn’t remember anything specific about that mission to Odessa, or why he’d shot her there, which only increased the pain further. But he did remember what she’d said to him when they’d fought in Berlin, when he’d been under Zemo's control.  
_‘You could at least recognize me.’_  
And in that moment, he had recognized her. But back then it had just been a single fraction of one memory, not nearly enough to break the control.

As time had went on however, more and more pieces of their shared past had come back to him, and now he remembered most of it, part from a few blanks like Odessa.  
He remembered sparring with her, training her, some of the missions they’d executed together, nights and kisses they’d shared. But that meant he also remembered having tried to kill her in the past.  
How he’d wrapped his metal fingers around her throat, how he’d shot at her without as much as a second thought. And those memories terrified him.  
Up until that moment, he’d felt relatively at ease in her company, but now his mind was mercilessly throwing him between the past and the present, between blanks and memories.  
A watery film had begun to cover his eyes, but he blinked it away, staring into nothingness as he tried his best not to completely give into his emotions.  
‘I’m sorry.’ he said lowly, trying to keep the trembles in his voice to a minimum.

Natasha watched him in silence, a million thoughts and feelings running through her as he uttered the words.  
She could see the torment in his eyes, how he was struggling not to let his past swallow him whole. She’d been there herself many times before, when broken flashbacks from the Red Room had come crashing over her.   
A part of her wanted to reach out to him in some kind of way, but the two scars on her body stopped her. Neither of them were ready to be any closer to one another than they were now, she knew that. But unlike him, she’d at least had some time to deal with her past, even though she was far from finished with it.  
  
Ever since her first step into the Red Room to when she’d left the KGB, the only completely free decision she’d ever made was him.  
For some inexplicable reason, they’d chosen eachother. Regardless of the consequences, regardless of how it had gone against all of their training, all of their instructions and mindwashing. And it had been both one of the worst and one of the best decisions she had ever made in her life.  
But of course, the consequences had eventually come and torn them apart, reminding her yet again of how irresponsible it all had been.  
  
She put on a pair of black tights with the words “ _I love to party!_ ” written in glitter along their left leg, her hand briefly brushing past the Odessa scar.  
As it did, another reminder of her days in the Red Room came over her. That scars were not mistakes. Instead they were evidence of survival, a lesson learned.  
‘Don‘t be.’ she responded softly, wanting him to come back to the present for both of their sakes.  
‘Besides, you’re a senior citizen. I couldn’t go too hard on you.’ she added jokingly, watching him once again turn towards her.  
He let out a quiet laugh, his reaction relaxing her a bit.  
‘Of course.’ he responded with a faint smile before putting on a bright green sweater with a large picture of a giraffe on it.

Bucky re-tied his shoes as Natasha reached for her jacket, silence once again settling between them. But the quiet moment was unexpectedly interrupted by a question he’d never imagined she’d ask.  
‘Steve mentioned long ago that you keep track of what you remember by writing everything down in journals. Do you still do that?’

The curious undertone in her voice for sent a wave of chills right through him as he asked himself if her question meant that she still cared. He stood up straight, once again turning to face her as he gave a faint nod.  
‘Yes, I do.’ he replied shortly, not knowing what more to say.  
But a part of him for some reason hoped she’d ask something more, that she’d ask if he’d-  
‘Have you written anything about me?’

There was something different about the way she looked at him as she interrupted his thoughts, as if she waited for a specific answer.  
‘I have.’ he said earnestly, hoping his response would tell him more about what was going through her mind.  
If perhaps it was the very answer she’d been hoping for.  
But she didn’t ask any more questions, which pained him more than he thought it would.  
Instead, Natasha put on her jacket and took a step towards the exit. Then, she looked back at him, the gleam in her green eyes once again shifting.  
‘Only the good things, I hope.’ she said lowly, a playful smile for a split-second spreading across her lips.


	6. Familiar Dangers

The rough winds nearly ripped the front door open as soon as Bucky had twisted its knob. They quickly headed inside, longing for shelter from the worsening weather. Everything was coated with a layer of dust, the cabin not the least bit warmed up, but neither of them cared.  
When he went into the kitchen and turned on the power, Natasha prepared the fireplace. As she took a couple of twigs and logs from a nearby basket, he began packing up the groceries.

With ease, Natasha managed to get a fire going. She stood up, brushing off the soot on her hands against her pants as she walked over to one of the two windows, listening to how the raindrops harshly began to fall against the glass. She closed the curtains, wasting no time repeating the procedure on the other window. At the moment, it looked like they’d gotten away.  
The fire gave away pleasant crackles, small sparks floating up towards the chimney before burning out. Her eyes followed the bright flames, watching them slowly spread across the logs. It was as if they merely caressed the surface as they moved, not seeming to do any damage at first.

As she stood there in complete silence, allowing herself to unwind a little, she noticed Bucky walk out of the kitchen. She didn’t have to turn around to know he was watching her, just like she was watching the fire burn. However, as he closed in, Natasha turned to face him.

Each of his hands were carrying a newly opened bottle of beer, one of which he stretched out towards her.  
‘Want one?’ he asked with a slightly insecure smile on his lips.  
Natasha took a hold of the bottle, the brown glass cold against her skin.  
‘I do, actually.’ she said as she smiled back at him before heading for the leather couch as she kicked off her shoes.  
He soon joined her, sitting down on the opposite side of the couch as he took as sip of his beer. She brought the bottle to her lips, downing a large portion of its content in the blink of an eye.  
Both of them stared vacantly at the fire as the exhaustion of their long day finally hit them.

‘How many of these hiding places do you have, exactly?’ Bucky asked after a long silence, a hint of curiosity in his voice.  
‘Enough to get around.’ she replied slyly before taking another sip, casting a glance at him.  
He let out a huffing chuckle at her short response, briefly meeting her gaze.  
Simultaneously, they threw their legs up on the couch, turning their bodies towards eachother as they leaned back against their respective armrests. It was an instinctive, natural movement, neither of them giving it much thought despite the fact that it was strangely intimate considering the circumstances.

‘It’s quite useful to have a good amount of safe houses around, just in case.’ Natasha said as she glanced towards the fire, a faint smirk briefly crossing her lips. ‘Comes in handy during times like this.’  
For a moment, she listened as the rain continued to fall outside.   
‘Whoever it is you’re about to face, I don‘t think you have to do it alone.’ he suddenly said with a strange graveness in his voice  
She took a moment to process his unexpected words before looking at him again, a sharp pain hitting her as images of Elena‘s lifeless body crossed her mind.  
There was no other way than to face Maven alone. She refused to let anyone else to get hurt because of her.  
‘But I do.’ Natasha responded with a joyless smile before allowing one of her legs to brush against his as they locked eyes, the contact tickling her skin. ‘The one who’s after me…’ she began, but quickly stopped herself as she realized she had no idea how to continue. ‘Blood has already been spilt because of this. I’m not going to let that happen again.’  
He didn’t utter anything in response, although she could read in his eyes that there was something he wanted to say.

They looked at one another in complete silence for a few seconds before both of them broke eye-contact.   
Bucky downed the last of his beer, placing the bottle by the foot of the couch as he wondered what was going through her mind. He wanted to somehow offer her his help more clearly, wanted to tell her to be careful but he couldn’t find the right words. He could see that she was deep in thought, the playful gleam in her eyes gone.  
'Well,' he began warmly, wanting to cheer her up somehow. 'one thing's for sure.' he continued as she turned towards him again. 'They won't know what hit them.'  
To his relief, a smirk spread across Natasha's lips as she listened.   
'Really?' she questioned playfully, raising an eyebrow. 'how so?'   
He chuckled, briefly looking down at her pants. 'You don't pick a fight with someone who's wearing pants that say " _I love to party_ " in glitter lettering, and walk away the winner.'  
At this, she laughed, suddenly smiling at him in a way that for some reason made it a little difficult not to blush.   
'That means a lot coming from someone wearing a sweatshirt with a giant, weird-looking giraffe on it.' she responded teasingly, whereupon he couldn't help but smile.  
  
Though both of them tried not to acknowledge it, they knew just how dangerously close they actually were to give into their desire to be closer to one another. But they also knew they couldn’t allow it, not now. Still, neither of them moved just yet, the closeness to eachother bringing them comfort, a strange sense of security in the middle of it all.

Natasha ran her fingers through her hair, scratching the back of her head as she continued to ignore her instincts. Above all, both of them needed more time. Time to be alone with their thoughts regarding their shared memories, perhaps especially the dark and painful ones.  
So she did what she needed to.  
She got up, not casting as much as a glance in his direction as she took a hold of her beer bottle and headed for the kitchen. And as she softly placed it in the sink, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she briefly allowed herself to feel.

Bucky stared into the fire, listening to the quiet crackles it gave away. He could hear Natasha walk out of the kitchen again, her feet headed for the bathroom, her eyes watching him.  
‘Do you want the bed or the couch?’ she asked blankly. ‘I’d prefer the couch myself.’

As he turned around to face her, sorrow struck him. He knew exactly what she meant with her words. He could hear it in her voice too, read it in her expression. She wanted them to be apart, and he understood her. Not only did he understand her, but she was right aswell.  
‘Then you can take the couch if you want to.’ he responded calmly, rising from his seat as he broke eye-contact.  
‘Alright. By the way, there should be some clothes that fit you somewhere in the bedroom.’ Natasha informed with a faint smile before quickly disappearing into the bathroom.  
As the sound of her turning the shower on reached his ears, Bucky huffed a chuckle. He remembered that she used to prefer evening showers.

He hastily placed his empty beer bottle on a nearby dresser and walked into the bedroom to search for something to change into. As he pulled down the blind to the only window, his gaze briefly fixed itself on the dark forest outside.  
How he would be able to sleep knowing Natasha was in the room next door he didn’t know. Her presence was affecting his every thought and emotion, memories of their past together constantly resurfacing in his mind.  
It pained him immensely that he didn’t have his journals to write in.

* * *

However, early the following morning, Bucky woke up feeling surprisingly well-rested. Letting out a quiet yawn, he looked at the digital clock on the bedside table. Half past five.  
Judging by how chilly the air in the bedroom felt, he estimated that the temperature had dropped quite a bit during the night. He got up quickly, the wooden floor cold beneath his naked feet as he silently walked towards the door after having taken a hold of his clothes.  
Making as little sound as possible, he open it, not wanting to wake up Natasha just in case she was still sleeping.   
  
And sure enough, she was. She’d kicked off the sheet almost entirely, her face relaxed, her lips slightly pouted. One of her arms hung down the side of the couch, her fingers almost touching the floor.  
It suddenly hit him that she was the one person who could understand the part of him that not even Steve could grasp completely.  
That despite having been controlled and brainwashed, he’d still been there during all of his acts as The Winter Soldier. Every moment. He’d witnessed it all not only as The Winter Soldier, but as himself aswell. A part of his real self always screaming at his body not to follow orders, to break free, and always to no success.  
  
His own life had happened right before his eyes without him being able to control any of it. Yet somewhere inside of it all, he’d still been Bucky. The entire time.  
And that was what Steve couldn’t, or rather wouldn't realize.  
But Natasha did.  
She knew what it was like, she’d experienced it all herself.

And as Bucky continued his walk towards the bathroom, another wave of guilt and sorrow ran through him. There was no way he’d ever be able to make up for everything he’d done to her. But no matter how he tried, he couldn’t block out the many memories of her that constantly wanted to flash before his eyes. He couldn’t make himself not want to be near her, to not want to talk to her.

A few minutes later, Natasha awoke to the sound of running water. Bucky was taking a shower, it appeared.  
She sat up, rubbing her eyes tiredly before fixing her gaze on his empty beer bottle standing on the dresser. She was suddenly reminded of the fact that he’d always preferred to shower in the morning. Although both of them above all had preferred to shower together.  
Not wanting to dwell anymore on the subject, she stood up and shut out the images that had instantly begun to flood her mind. For a change, she didn’t bother to pick up the sheet from the floor. Instead, she walked into the kitchen, wanting to get going as quickly as possible.

A little more than twenty minutes later, Bucky finished getting dressed before heading out of the bathroom. And the first thing he noticed upon entering the living room was Natasha tying her shoes hurriedly.  
As they locked eyes, he smiled at her sombrely, the sight of her leaving so hastily tugging at his heart immensely.  
‘Off to a new adventure, huh?’ he asked with a faint chuckle as she tucked a small handgun into one of the pockets of her jacket.  
‘There’s still some coffee left.’ she informed casually before making sure she hadn't forgotten anything, dodging his question. ‘And don’t worry, there’s a motorcycle in the garage a short walk from here. I’ll take that and you can have the car.’

Then, she suddenly stopped in her tracks, a somewhat unsure expression on her face as she once again made eye-contact with him.  
‘Good luck.’ she said lowly, for a split-second looking as though she was about to take a step towards him, his heart instantly beating a little faster. ‘With everything.’  
‘The same to you.’  
God, how he wished she‘d stay. But he wouldn't try to stop her, he didn’t want to. She’d always followed her own way wherever it had been possible, regardless of what the rest of the world might've wanted. And he understood why she wanted to go without him, it was the best for both of them.

As they stood there in complete silence, looking at one another, Natasha was increasingly torn between walking up to him and walking away. After all, she didn’t know when she’d see him next time, or if they’d ever be alone again like they were at the moment.  
She still cared for him, that was the problem. No matter how she’d tried to deny it to herself, that was the reason she’d never managed to aim precisely when they‘d fought eachother, why she’d never hit him the same way she would've hit someone else. Because even if neither of them were the same as they’d been back then, she still cared for him.  
Far too much for her own good.  
So with hesitant steps, she slowly began to walk towards him as she took up her backpack from the dusty floor.

However, just as she was about to speak, the quiet moment abruptly ended as the alarm by the door gave away a loud beep.  
‘What does that mean?’ Bucky asked wearily, instantly tensing up.  
She cast a glance at the window before heading for the couch. ‘It means that someone’s coming.’ she explained, pushing the couch towards the fireplace, revealing a hatch in the floor. ‘They’ll be here in about ten minutes and we don’t have time to wait around to see who it is.’  
Without saying anything in response as she opened the hatch, he quickly put on his shoes and jacket. Then, Natasha handed him a shotgun she'd pulled out of the topmost drawer of the dresser.  
  
They made brief eye-contact before she began climbing down the ladder, Bucky following close behind. He closed the hatch upon landing on the concrete floor, finding himself standing in a narrow, dimly-lit tunnel.


	7. Itsy-bitsy spider

‘Where does this lead, exactly?’ Bucky asked as they began to run.  
‘To the garage.’ Natasha explained shortly without looking back at him.  
They darted through the narrow escape tunnel as fast as their legs would let them, the sound of their feet hitting the ground echoing around them as they ran. She hastily unlocked the metal door to the garage, making sure both of them were inside before opening her bag and taking out a grenade, throwing it into tunnel.  
As she swiftly shut the door behind them, he turned towards her with a somewhat surprised look on his face.

Upon noticing his expression, she smiled at him, the noise of the smaller explosion gradually replaced by the sound of the tunnel caving in.  
‘Just in case.’ she said with a faint shrug before quickly braiding her hair back, tucking the braid down into her jacket.  
‘I don’t suppose you have a rocket launcher laying around?’ Bucky asked half-jokingly, questioning whether they had good enough weaponry in case another helicopter was heading their way.  
She straddled the motorcycle, quickly revving up its engine before looking back at him over her shoulder.  
‘I actually do, but unfortunately it’s back at the cabin.’ she responded slyly, watching a smirk briefly cross his lips. ’I guess you’ll just have to survive with what you have.’  
Bucky quickly jumped onto the motorcycle, wrapping his human arm around her waist, his metal arm holding the shotgun steadily.

* * *

 

Natasha navigated through the small spaces between the tree trunks with ease. Soil and moss flew everywhere around them as the wheels of the motorcycle dug deep into the rocky, uneven ground, its engine surprisingly silent.  
Twigs, plants and branches were broken and torn left and right, the motorcycle easily tearing through the lush vegetation.   
Every now and then, he glanced over his shoulder, still nothing more than a beautiful scenery behind them. On a few places, sunlight had managed to make it through the small gaps between the seemingly endless amounts of pine-needles, creating an soft, shimmering glow.  
For the time being, it seemed as though they’d made a clean getaway, no signs of anyone following them as they continued to dash through the forest.  
But still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that it was all too easy of an escape.

His arm rested loosely around her waist as he once again turned his gaze ahead, watching how the forest gradually thinned out to eventually come to an end by the side of an empty, winding road.  
As they drove out on it, he lowered the shotgun and tucked it away inside of a leather bag attached to the back of the motorcycle, figuring they’d almost certainly were out of immediate danger. As he wrapped his metal arm around her waist aswell, he realized just how close they were, the feeling of her body against his making it a little tricky to concentrate on nothing but the road.

Even though she realized she most likely no longer had a reason for driving at top speed, Natasha didn’t want to ease up on the throttle. She’d always had a particular fondness for high speeds, but in Bucky’s close company it had suddenly been amplified.  
Despite her efforts to keep her emotions for him from resurfacing, the closeness to his body was making it increasingly difficult. The feeling of his arms around her waist and his chest pressing against her back didn’t help either. It was almost enough to make her struggle to keep a smirk off of her face.  
At the moment, the one thing she could do to distract herself from him was to keep going ahead on full speed, something that made her focus intently on her driving.

A while later, she gradually began to slow down, eventually stopping on the side of the road as a lone car passed them by.  
‘Any particular place you’re planning on heading?’ she asked as she momentarily looked back at him, their brief eye-contact still managing to send a wave of chills through her veins.  
‘Some place from where I can get back to Steve and the others.’ Bucky answered with a somewhat husky as they looked out on their surroundings. ‘You?’  
‘I’m heading to the nearest airport, I need to get to my next target.’ Natasha replied gravely as it hit both of them that they’d soon part ways. ‘How about we go our separate ways once there?’ she continued, realizing he still had one arm around her waist although they’d been standing still for quite a while.   
As they once again looked at one another, he smiled at her, something sombre about his expression.  
‘Sounds like a plan.’ he said with a faint chuckle, whereupon she took up her cellphone from her pocket and opened the GPS.  
‘Once we’re at the airport, I’d like to take you out for something to eat if you have the time.’ he continued warmly. ‘It’s the least I can do for you for letting me stay at your cabin.’  
  
Natasha looked up from her cellphone, her eyes locking with his in a way that sent shivers down his spine.  
‘Sounds like a plan.’ she said teasingly, whereupon she put her phone back in her pocket and returned her focus to the hand clutches.  
And as their journey recommenced, he found it difficult to resist the urges to hold her just a little bit closer as he realize their time together was coming to an end.

* * *

 

‘I take it you know exactly where to go?’ Bucky asked with a smirk as she casually observed their surroundings.  
She nodded, smiling as she turned to face him. ‘That I do.’  
‘Well, good luck with everything then.’ he said with an undertone of something she couldn’t quite identify in his otherwise calm voice. ‘Kick some ass for me too.’  
‘Will you head back to headquarters, wherever that is nowadays?’ she inquired curiously.  
‘I figure I owe Steve some kind of debriefing.’ Bucky began casually, briefly fixing his eyes on a passing family. ‘But I think I’ll take a little longer way back to clear my head first.’ he mumbled, momentarily distracted.  
‘Are you sure there’s nothing I can do for you?’ he added as he once again focused on her.  
Natasha smiled. ‘Well you can always eliminate anyone who tries to kill me on my way to my flight.’ she said jokingly before a grave expression crossed her face. ‘But once you leave the airport, you have to be careful.’ she warned. ‘The one who’s after me likes to go after known associates of her targets, so lay lower than usual for a couple of weeks. Don’t get caught.’

Bucky smiled at her, nodding. ‘I’ll do my best, thanks for the heads up.’  
A tentative expression briefly crossed his face as he took a deep breath, a slightly worried look settled on his features as he exhaled.  
‘Natasha-’ he began, the sudden softness of his voice enough to stop her completely in her tracks. ‘be careful.’ he said after a short pause, his tone grave. ‘And thank you, for everything.’  
Then, he took a step back, giving her a somewhat awkward wave. ‘Anyway, as I said, good luck.’

It was in this moment, as he‘d begun to walk away, that she realized she couldn’t say goodbye to him with nothing other than wave.   
Without further hesitation, she took a hold of his upper arm, closing the distance between them before kissing him.

The unexpected action almost made him jerk back out of pure surprise as her lips locked with his, one of her hands resting on the back of his neck, the other still on his upper arm. But it didn’t take him long to respond to her touch, deepening the kiss as he closed his eyes and their surroundings quickly faded from his thoughts.   
But just as he was about to wrap his arms around her, she broke the kiss, taking a step back.  
‘No worries. Good luck to you too.’ she said with a sultry voice as she let go of him completely, picking up her backpack from the newly polished floor. Then, she headed off without another look in his direction.  
Bucky watched her for a moment, a smile on his lips as a feeling of being lighter than air swirled in his chest.

But as he looked around again, the lightness within him disappeared in an instant as a sharp, icing pain hit his gut.  
He'd noticed a man that stood out from the rest of the crowd, a look in his eyes that could only mean he was out for blood. And his cold gaze was firmly fixed on Natasha, who was currently standing in line to the security checkpoint.  
Acting on instinct, Bucky walked towards him as fast as he could without drawing the attention of those around them.  
And just as the man delved his hand into one of the pockets of his coat, Bucky took a ruthless hold of him with his metal arm, pushing him into the nearest empty bathroom.

The man tried in vain to escape his hold as Bucky locked the door behind them before pushing him up against a wall, his hand now clenched around his throat. The man desperately gasped for air, his face quickly turning red as he clawed at the metal arm, kicking his feet meekly.  
Bucky softened the hold slightly, allowing the stranger to draw new breath.  
‘Who sent you?’ he asked with a low voice, hoping Natasha was still ok.  
The man snarled. ‘I’m not telling you anything!’  
‘Wrong answer.’

As soon as she’d passed the checkpoint, Natasha took up her cellphone and called Nicole, who answered almost instantly.  
‘Can you give me the address to Maven’s current home?’  
Nicole let out a dramatic sigh. ‘Not even a hello? No, oh hey how have you been, how’s the family, how’s the garden doing?’ she asked with mock-hurt.  
Natasha chuckled, sitting down in an armchair by one of the many windows. ‘I’m on a tight schedule.’ she began, crossing her legs before dropping her bag beside her. ‘But now that you mention it, how is your garden doing?’  
‘Ugh, it’s a mess. Vanessa planted I don’t know, this really ugly green plant and now it’s taken over the entire place.’ Nicole complained. ‘I mean, I love that woman, but I swear her plant experiments drive me crazy. Remember that mess of a shrub from last spring?’  
Natasha laughed, picturing Nicole’s immense garden related frustration. ‘Yes I do. Didn't your dog get stuck in it at one point?’  
‘He did, I still have the picture of it as my screensaver.’ Nicole responded with a laugh, whereupon Natasha could hear her typing something into her keyboard. ‘But don’t get me wrong about Vanessa though, I don’t want her to quit her hobby.’ she continued in a much softer tone of voice. ‘And as for your question, I’ll send you everything I have on Maven’s latest movements as soon as possible after we hang up.’  
‘I’m counting on it.’ Natasha said teasingly, watching the departure schedule on a nearby TV-monitor. ‘However, I have one last favour to ask of you.’

‘You won’t be able to save her.’ the man hissed. ‘It doesn't matter that I didn’t succeed, she’ll have agents waiting for her upon arrival.’ he added with a malicious grin before gasping for air.  
Realizing that the man was almost at the brink of losing consciousness again, Bucky slightly lightened the grip around his throat once more.  
‘Where are they going to take her?’ he asked with a snarl, feeling his heartbeat increase as a rush of adrenalin was released.

‘Home.’ the man replied between his raspy breaths. ‘Back to where she belongs.’  
As soon as the words had been uttered, Bucky released the man from his grip, watching him fall onto the tiled floor. In that context, there was only one place he could think of that could mean home.

After having left the man unconscious next to the sink, Bucky hurriedly exited the bathroom, looking around for any signs of Natasha. With quick breaths, he watched people pass him by as he tried to think of a way to contact her, to warn her, or to at least make sure she was still safe. He had no way of contacting her quickly enough, and by the time he’d somehow managed to make it to her gate she’d already be on her flight.  
He needed to act fast. 

* * *

 

With calm steps, Natasha exited the airport, the evening sun on her face as she headed towards the taxis. Her phone vibrated in the pocket of her jeans, a smile crossing her lips as she read the text that Nicole had sent her.  
  
_‘Just don’t fuck up and die or anything, you’re my best customer. And you have to be here for our board game night next Saturday. Unfortunately I don’t have my smartphone at the moment so I can’t pepper this text with an armada of cactus emojis like I planned, so just imagine them instead’_  
  
After having put the phone away, she watched the sky and its shifting colours for a moment before focusing on finding a cab.  
Her first choice of car was quickly taken by an elderly couple just seconds before she’d reached it herself. And she’d barely even had the time to look at her second and third choices before they, just like the first one, also got grabbed by someone else, making her regret the decision to not book a car in advance.

There was only one vacant taxi left, the one she’d attempted to avoid simply because it was a minivan, which felt unnecessarily large considering she was travelling alone.  
But nevertheless, she needed to get going.  
‘Good evenin’ ma’am.’ the taxi driver greeted her with a slow nod as she closed in.  
‘Good evening.’ Natasha responded courteously, watching him take one final smoke from the cigarette in his hand before throwing it onto the asphalt and smearing it out with his shoe.  
Then, with a polite smile on his face, he slid the car door open for her, allowing her to get inside.

But just as she was about to step into the van, a felt a sharp pain suddenly hit her neck, her body instantly growing weak and unstable.  
She‘d barely had time to blink before her legs had lost their balance and she stumbled backwards, the taxi-driver catching her in his arms.  
‘She’s down.’ he muttered gravely into what she suspected was a com-link as he carelessly threw her into the van, the door sliding shut with a bang.

After having landed on her stomach with a loud thud, Natasha quickly detected another note. It was laying on the floor by the seat furthest from her.   
She crawled towards it, the movement making her arms feel as if they were burning up from the inside, failing her within a couple of seconds. But even though the note was still about a foot away and her vision had faintly begun to blur, she could still tell it was Maven's handwriting.  
And just before her eyes shut themselves against her will, she’d managed to read what it had to say.  
  
_‘And so, the spider was at last torn from the safety of its web.’_

Seconds later, her body stopped obeying her commands completely. More people entered the van as its engine started, but she couldn’t react, her consciousness finally fading after having lost the battle to stay alert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger, da da daaaammm!! :D  
> Just a heads up for what's to come: The next chapter looks like it's going to be really long, and also kind of dark, but I'm hoping that you're still going to like it! :)  
> (and also that you liked this chapter, of course!)


	8. The Black Widow

‘Wake up, you filthy little arachnid.’  
Natasha furrowed her brows, instantly becoming aware of her aching head as she slowly returned to consciousness.  
She opened her eyes, finding nothing but darkness around her. The air felt thicker and damper than usual, smelling somewhat decayed. She was most likely in a cellar, one that hadn't been used in quite a while.  
Her body was locked in a simple, metal chair, nothing but her feet and head free to move. Her clothes had been changed, the feel of her new attire making her suspect she was wearing some sort of hospital gown.

‘Crawling around in the dark in search of prey, never truly without concealment, right?’ an old, raspy female voice hissed from somewhere close in front of her.  
Maven.  
‘But even spiders can be trapped, and I finally managed to trap you. It’s not quite in a glass jar with a post card over the opening, but close.’  
Natasha let out a humourless laugh. ‘Congratulations.’  
‘You may mock me now, Natasha, but you won’t be doing it for long.’ Maven said gravely.

‘Do you have any idea where you are?’ she asked after a short pause, her voice dripping with pride.  
And the honest truth was that Natasha had no idea where Maven had taken her.  
She couldn’t tell for how long she’d been out, thus she couldn’t figure out how far she’d been transported. But she wasn't too concerned with the turn of events, she’d win in the end. She had to, for Elena.  
‘Surprise me.’ she responded dryly, wondering just how far Maven would go for her revenge.

Seconds later, the sound of fluorescent lights getting switched on filled her ears, brightness blinking all around her as the room gradually lit up.  
However, as she became completely aware of her surroundings, Natasha’s confidence shattered.

She knew that concrete floor. She’d laid on it many times, beaten down to it, blood having run down the slightly rusted drain between her naked feet.  
She knew the walls around them. Walls that were now run down from years of neglect, the dark-green paint having started to flake in some places. And in the distance, she saw the metal door.  
The metal door that had closed behind her with a heavy bang those countless times she’d walked through its opening.  
She was in the one of the cellars of the Red Room.

Natasha could feel her breathing quicken, her heart beating fast as she looked around, trying her best to block out flashback after flashback. Broken memories, memories she’d locked away for years, instantly beginning to claw at her.  
_‘Stand up Natalia, and watch your posture this time!’_  
One of the corners of the cellar had been closed off and concealed by thick, white curtains running all the way from floor to ceiling, a man and a woman in matching coats standing guards in front of it.  
It reminded her of a hospital cubicle, which most likely also explained her current outfit.  
_‘Very good job! Now, kill her.’_

‘Welcome home.’ Maven said with wicked joy, a malicious grin on her lips as they locked eyes.  
She was sitting in front of her in an old leather arm chair with a small metal table beside it. On the table was a black notebook with a loaded revolver beside.  
To the occasion, she was clad in a white blouse and a matching pencil skirt, her grey hair put up in a tight bun, the look completed with a pair of elegant, brown pumps.  
She raised an eyebrow, smirking. ‘Did I manage to surprise you?’ she asked, crossing her legs, her fingers gently drumming against the armrests.  
‘Looks like I did.’

Natasha remained silent, focusing most of her energy on not letting her surroundings get to her. So she continued to look at Maven, watching her movements, noting every little detail.  
‘No fancy mansions, diamond necklaces or ball gowns this time?’ she sneered. ‘Making a few cuts in the budget?’  
Maven tensed up, her expression changing into a frown as she rose from her seat, the sound of her pumps hitting the floor echoing around them.  
Upon reaching her, she slapped Natasha harshly across the face, quickly returning to her seat afterwards.  
‘I still don’t know exactly how you managed to clean out the majority of my accounts, but further upsetting me wasn't the smartest of moves, Natasha.’ she said after having taken a deep breath, a stern look on her wrinkled face. ‘I had to kiss a lot of ass to manage to pull even this off.’  
Natasha briefly smiled. ‘Why waste an opportunity to provoke you?’

Maven leaned back in the armchair, the leather squeaking slightly as she moved.  
‘When it comes to you Natasha, the past is never far behind you is it?’ she taunted victoriously.  
And that, along with her terrible poker face, was her weakness. Her incredible ego, the fact that she thought she’d already won.  
Natasha chuckled humourlessly. ‘It’s difficult to leave the past behind when people like you keep bringing it up.’

Maven took up the weathered notebook, opening it to one of its yellowed pages, turning her attention to reading.  
‘Initially my only plan had been to kill you off, in a painful but quick fashion. Revenge for your betrayal.’ She said mundanely.  
‘You really hold your grudges don’t you?’ Natasha questioned, continuing to ignore the pain inside of her as the darkest scenes from her time in the Red Room played on repeat in her mind.  
Maven looked up, slamming the notebook shut.  
‘I trusted you!’ she shouted angrily. ‘You managed to infiltrate my league all the way to the very top, I can’t forgive you for that. You nearly ruined me! Never had I thought that one of the infamous Black Widows of the Red Room would join S.H.I.E.L.D.’  
‘You were careless with those you chose as body guards, that is your fault not mine.’ Natasha responded calmly, relieved by the fact that she could still get to her.

Maven snarled. ‘No matter how many missions you do for the so called good guys, no matter how long you’ll be an Avenger, you can’t escape your past. What truly defines you, who you actually are. You’re no hero and you never will be. You are nothing like the other Avengers.’ she growled, her upper lip slightly curled. ‘You won’t be able to repent for all of your bloodshed, no matter how hard you try. And you will pay for what you did to me.’  
‘Well I didn’t exactly think you brought me here for a holiday.’ Natasha said, casting another glance at the white curtains.

‘As I said before,’ Maven began, caressing the cover of the notebook. ‘My initial plan was to kill you off.’ she said casually, making-eye contact. ‘But that was until my one of my men reported that you’d spent the night in your cabin with none other than The Winter Soldier. I do hope you had fun.’  
Natasha’s stomach instantly jerked as if having been stabbed by a blunt knife, a painful, burning cold running through her veins.

‘I guess Hydra and The Red Room were never as good at controlling their assets as I thought.’ Maven continued, a blank expression on her face. ‘Despite all of your training and brainwashing, you still fell for one another. It’s almost a romance worthy of a novel.’  
‘You've done your research.’ Natasha said with a low voice, trying to device some sort of escape plan despite her scattered, broken mind.  
A bright smile spread across Maven’s thin lips. ‘There’s no such thing as too much information. A lesson I learned from you!’ she said with a cold joy, lifting up the notebook. ‘Do you know what this is, Natalia?’

Natasha resisted the urge to shut her eyes and show how much the mentioning of her birth-given name gave her torment at the place she currently was. How she wished she could just cover her ears and block everything out.  
But the only thing she could do was try not to let Maven break her.  
‘Your diary?’ she retorted after a short silence.  
Maven shook her head. ‘No!’ she said triumphantly. ‘It’s a manual.’ she continued softly, standing up again. ‘A manual to a machine that I believe you are quite familiar with.’  
Upon hearing those words, Natasha’s eyes widened. She froze, unable to respond as she realized what Maven had planned for her, what was hiding behind those white curtains.

Maven walked towards her with calm steps, holding the notebook loosely in her left hand.  
‘After having received the information regarding your involvements with The Winter Soldier both in your cabin the other day, aswell as your shared past,’ she began, taking a harsh hold of Natasha’s chin, forcing her to meet her gaze. ‘I thought to myself, why simply kill her?’ she continued calmly, gently stroking her cheek before letting go. ‘Why kill her when I can make myself the ultimate tool? A Black Widow of my very own, at my own disposal? A…loyal, Black Widow?’ she hummed musingly, whereupon she gave a small nod to the man and woman in front of the curtains.  
Instantly, they drew the curtains aside, revealing one of Natasha’s deepest fears. The mindwashing machine that her Red Room handlers had used on her.

‘I know that in the past they didn’t even have to use a sedative of any kind to get you into that chair.’ Maven said cheerfully as she took a hold of the revolver with her free hand. ’That you sat down in it the moment they ordered you to.’ she continued, aiming the revolver at Natasha as the man and the woman came up to her.  
‘I can’t help but wonder how they made you do it.’  
Natasha stared blankly down at the floor, remembering all of the things her handlers had done to her in order to get her to sit down in that chair.  
It felt as though she was about to drown, her lungs aching with every strained breath she managed to take, her entire body screaming.

‘Bring her to the machine, it’s time.’ Maven instructed coldly, whereupon her two subordinates instantly began to unlock Natasha from the chair, each of them taking a firm hold of one of her arms.  
‘And to make sure you won’t try anything,’ Maven said menacingly as she stepped up to her, revolver still at the ready.

One of the assistants carefully handed her an injection needle filled with a clear liquid.  
Harshly, she jammed it into Natasha’s upper arm, injecting the liquid quickly.  
’It’s just a mild sedative so that you won’t try to escape, apparently you need to be conscious for us to perform the procedure.’  
‘You don’t want to do this.’ Natasha warned ominously, feeling her fighting instincts itch beneath her skin as whatever Maven had injected her with began to spread through her system.

The Red Room was triggering her, triggering all of anger and sorrow.  
It was pushing her to her very limits, images she’d tried her best to forget constantly flashing before her eyes, threatening to bring her back to her training days.  
_‘You have no place in this world.’_  
Maven laughed, instructing her the man and the woman to move Natasha forward.  
’Oh but I do Natalia, more than anything. Think of it this way, at least it’s not Barnes I’m putting in that chair.’ she taunted. ‘Not yet, anyway. I mean, who knows what the future will bring?’

Natasha clenched her jaw, something shifting in her eyes.  
She wasn't going to allow anyone to meddle with his mind or her own again, no matter how unfocused and weak the circumstances along with the injection had made her.  
She had to fight. For Elena, for Bucky and for herself.

Time and time again, Maven’s pride had proven to be her downfall. And this time wouldn't be any different. Having been released from the chair had enabled Natasha to finally come up with an escape plan.  
She grabbed a hold of the revolver, with ease jerking it out of Maven’s grip before kicking her to the ground as hard as she could. As the man tried to punch the back of her head, she took a hold of his arm, twisting it mercilessly as he let out a tortured scream. Then she shot him straight through his skull. Warm, dark blood splattering on her face as the woman attempted to take a hold of her.  
But Natasha effortlessly dodged her attack, swiftly jumping onto her shoulders, swinging her legs around her neck before twisting it harshly, the noise of breaking bones drenching all other sounds.

Afterwards, she quickly jumped down again, the woman’s lifeless body falling to the ground with a heavy thud. Then, Natasha turned her attention to Maven, who had stood up again on shaky legs.

‘Your ego always gets in your way Maven.’ Natasha said blankly, walking up to her.  
Maven shook her head, looking increasingly petrified with every step Natasha took towards her.  
‘No…’ she gasped faintly, wincing as Natasha ruthlessly grabbed her by the hair, her neat hairdo quickly falling out. ‘Let go of me!’  
Natasha dragged her to the very chair she herself had just been released from, ignoring Maven’s meaningless resistance and attempts at escaping.

‘You made a mistake.’ she said calmly, locking all of the restraints.  
She could feel a large drop of blood tickle her skin as it slowly ran down the side of her nose, but she didn’t care to wipe it off.  
Maven snarled as they made eye-contact. ‘You won’t get away with this!’

‘Taking a tour through the Red Room should've taught you another lesson.’ Natasha said in a monotone voice, her finger itching to shoot. ‘That sometimes, the past is best left alone. Especially if it isn't your own.’  
Maven didn’t respond, a dazed look on her face. But Natasha didn’t care, she knew she could still hear her.  
‘And this is not my home.’ she added blankly, staring down at the revolver in her hand.

‘I could leave you here in this chair and let you rot. But most likely you’ve got guards placed throughout the area, and they will pay you a visit sooner or later, so I won’t leave you like this.’ she began lowly, maintaining eye-contact.  
‘I could place you in the chair and play with your mind for a while, or simply let it rip your every memory to pieces until there is nothing left of who you are. To have you know what it feels like to have someone else decide who you should be. For someone else to make your every decision. But I don’t feel like lingering.’

The fear in Maven’s eyes grew with every word she spoke, her whole body starting to tremble.  
‘But you killed Elena. And you threatened to hurt someone I love, which wasn't a smart move. As you said regarding yourself, it’s not wise to further spite someone who’s already planning to get you.’ Natasha said calmly, aiming the revolver so the shot wouldn't kill Maven immediately but instead let her bleed out painfully with no chance of survival.

A tense silence set between them as she took a deep breath, focusing her mind on her target. After having pulled the trigger, she turned towards the exit, listening to the sound of Maven slowly choking on her own blood as she walked away.

She stepped into the long, narrow corridor she’d walked through so many times before. It almost looked the same as it had back then, but the lighting wasn't as bright and the smell was different. Memories continued to drown her, the voices of her handlers ringing in her ears with every breath, every heartbeat, every step forward.  
_‘Well done, head for the showers.’_  
She inhaled.  
_‘I will make you regret your reckless actions!’_  
She exhaled, her feet dragging her forward soundlessly.  
_‘What a failure.’_  
She noticed an old book laying by an open doorframe.  
_‘We expect perfection, Natalia. You must be perfect.’_  
Natasha turned the corner.  
She looked up at a cobweb on the ceiling, briefly watching the small spider that crawled around in it.

Then, right before walking up the stairs that would lead her towards the nearest exit, she stopped and looked at herself in the mirror she passed on the way.  
She wiped the blood off of her face as best she could, her watery, green eyes staring back at her without emotion.

She tried not to let the memories resurface, the memories she’d done her best to suppress. Memories she’d been fighting ever since she’d lived through them.  
Perhaps it would have been wise to let them take over for a change, to allow herself to take in even a fraction of everything she was feeling.  
But she didn’t want to, couldn't bear it. She’d had enough now. She was tired.

So she turned her feet towards the staircase again, casting one last glance back at the deserted, run down corridor.  
Maven had been right. She wasn't like the other Avengers, she never would be.  
But that didn’t matter.  
What mattered was that she was free.

* * *

 

Revolver at the ready, Natasha carefully opened the door to the main floor, preferably wanting to escape the building unseen as she didn’t know just how well she’d be able to fight. Every step seemed to stretch on for an eternity, the way ahead seeming endless and winding.  
And as she treaded across the unpolished marble floor, she noticed the first of Maven’s mercenaries, standing guard by one of the many windows.

Luckily the corridor wasn't well lit, enabling her to use the shadows to her advantage. Ideally, she’d be able to kill him without shooting him, since the shot would alert all other nearby guards.  
So she did what she could with the means and energy at her capacity. She threw the revolver as gently as possible along the shadows to create a small diversion.  
And sure enough, the sound of its landing was enough to catch the mercenary’s attention.

Wearily, he headed down the corridor, into the darkness where she was hiding. She was careful to move as he moved in order to avoid being discovered by his flashlight.  
As soon as he passed her by, Natasha silently crept up behind him, throwing a hand over his mouth before quickly twisting his neck.  
After having gently laid his heavy body down on the floor, she searched him for anything useful, grabbing his AK-47.  
Then, she left him laying there in the dark.  
She didn’t have time to change into his uniform and she didn’t care to hide the body. She’d soon be out.

Her eyes temporarily fixed themselves the chandelier hanging from the middle of the ceiling. Its dust-covered prisms faintly glimmered in the moonlight shining in through a shattered window, pieces of broken glass scattered on the floor.  
She was feeling progressively tired and exhausted. Whatever Maven had injected her with burned in her veins, her heart beating much harder than normal.

However, just as Natasha began to move again, loud screams from the upstairs floor caught her attention.  
Instinctively, she dove for cover, aiming her weapon towards the source of the noise. As she did, two guards came flying down the wooden stairs, having been pushed harshly by a familiar, red energy. And sure enough, no matter how beyond unbelievable it felt, her speculations became reality as Wanda came into view.  
She was walking down the stairs carefully, her watchful eyes fixed on the unconscious guards, her entire body on edge.

Natasha slowly managed to rise from her crouched position, stepping out of the shadows with her arms raised as Wanda noticed her.  
‘Natasha?’ Wanda called out uncertainly, walking towards her with hurried steps.  
A faint smile crossed Natasha‘s lips as they locked eyes. ‘I must say I’m surprised to see you.’ she responded, hanging the AK-47 over her shoulder.  
‘I’ll explain on the way out, how are you feeling?’ Wanda wondered worriedly, taking a gentle hold of Natasha’s arm before placing it around her shoulders. ‘You can lean on me if you want to.’ she said with a low voice.  
‘Thanks.’ Natasha said earnestly, both relieved and beyond confused to about the fact that she was there. ‘I’ve been better.’

‘I’ve found her.’ Wanda spoke gravely into the com-link, making Natasha wonder who else had were there. ‘Let’s hurry back to the jet. She’s up and walking but I’m unsure if she needs any medical assistance.’  
But before Natasha was able to ask any of the million questions that had appeared in her scattered mind, Wanda began to talk again.  
‘Barnes was the one who lead us here, in case you’re wondering. But I’ll let him explain the rest.’ she began, her words hitting Natasha like a bullet. ‘And don’t worry, it’s not a big operation. It’s just me, Steve and Bucky.’  
Natasha didn’t know what to think. At the moment, most of her conscious thoughts concentrated on moving forward and not collapsing right there on the spot.  
But with the small part of her that was still focused on the now, was with Bucky.

There was a spark inside of her, most likely awakened by having been tossed back and forth between the past and the present, between Natalia and Natasha. A spark of hope and longing, the part of her younger self that was still etched within the walls of the Red Room begging her to be with him.

* * *

‘Do you know any other way out of here besides up the staircase?’ the tone in Wanda’s voice revealing that she’d asked the question, because she wasn't sure Natasha could handle the walk upstairs. 

‘Yes, but the way you came in is the quickest way out from where we‘re standing. I also suspect there will be less guards to fight off if we head in that direction.’ Natasha responded as they briefly locked eyes again, trying to keep her voice as level as possible.   
‘If you say so.’ Wanda said lowly as they reached the first step, her wrapped firmly around Natasha‘s waist.

As they walked up the wooden staircase as quickly as they could, Natasha constantly found herself struggling to resist the urge to wince, every step forward making it feel as if her legs were burning, down to the very bone.   
But she ignored the inconvenient and annoying sensation, knowing there was nothing else to do but continue on.

They hadn’t ventured far into the nearest upstairs hallway before they were noticed by a guard. But he’d barely managed to raise his gun at them when Wanda swiftly and silently took care of him.   
‘I see you’ve kept on practicing.’ Natasha said with a smirk on her lips, almost forgetting about her pain as she thought of how good Wanda was getting at adapting her powers for different situations.   
Wanda chuckled, her gaze fixed ahead as they took a right turn. ‘I have.’

Natasha fixed her hold around Wanda’s shoulders, longing to get to the jet.   
It was surprisingly helpful not having to make her way through the facility on her own, and not only because of how weak and tired she felt.   
To have someone by her side helped calm her mind a little, the many memories trying to overcome her, slightly easier to manage in Wanda’s presence.

However, the quiet moment was suddenly interrupted by a faint click close behind them, whereupon Natasha instinctively moved out of Wanda’s hold in order to dodge the incoming attack.

And, just like she’d suspected, a guard had come out of one of rooms as they’d passed it by.   
She took off the AK-47 from her shoulder and hit the guard across the head with it, not wanting to shoot in case there were any other enemies nearby.   
Before he’d collapsed onto the floor, Wanda had caught him mid-fall with her powers. Then, she carefully laid him down on the ground, his eyes closing as they began to glow red.   
The second he wasn’t a threat anymore, Natasha once again leaned against her, neither of them wanting to waste any time getting out.

But before Natasha even had opened her mouth, Wanda heaved a sigh and spoke.   
‘I know I know, I need to watch my back at all times.’ she mumbled, shaking her head faintly.   
Natasha let out a laugh, noticing a small smile momentarily spread across Wanda’s lips as they continued their walk.

Cold night winds met them as they finally exited the building, the sky gradually getting cloudier.  
‘The jet’s not far from here, Steve's already there preparing for take-off. Do you think you can make it?’ Wanda asked anxiously, doing her best to keep her steady.  
Natasha nodded determinedly, her gaze fixed on her sluggish feet. She watched how they sunk into the mud, listening to the noise it created, focusing on what the wet soil felt like between her toes and against her skin. The last thing she’d accept was for Maven to have the last laugh.  
Every step she took that led her further away from the Red Room, enabled her to breathe a little easier, the flashbacks slowly starting to allow her some rest. 

Seconds later, they noticed Bucky exiting the building from another door, a concerned look on his face as he rushed towards them.  
‘Are you hurt?’ he asked worriedly, making fleeting eye-contact with Wanda before turning his attention to Natasha.  
They looked at eachother, communicating in silence for a moment before the conversation resumed, both of them wanting to reach out to one another.  
‘I’m alright. However, Nat seems to have taken some hits.’ Wanda responded wearily, glancing towards the nearby forest.  
Natasha shook her head, temporarily shutting her eyes, her brows furrowing.  
‘I’m fine, Maven just hit me with a shot of some kind of anaesthesia.’ she explained with a somewhat husky voice, dropping the AK-47 to the ground without care. ‘Let’s just go.’

* * *

  
Once at the jet, Wanda helped Natasha into it, Bucky following close behind as he kept a watchful eye on their surroundings. Just in case.  
'I'll inform Steve that we're ready to go.' Wanda said gravely as they headed inside.   
Bucky gave a swift nod, noticing how Natasha's steps had become heavier and more dragging the second she'd entered the jet.

Worriedly, he watched as Wanda rather unwillingly let go of her in order to talk with Steve in the cockpit. However, before he could assist her, Natasha had sat down in the one of the seats next to a window, her eyes closing as she leaned her head back and let out a heavy sigh.  
He grabbed one of the blankets laying on the seats behind him, handing it to her as he sat down beside her.  
‘You shouldn't have come after me, it was a stupid decision.’ she said as she drew the blanket over her shoulders, her voice grave and tired. ‘You couldn't have known for sure if I was even here.’

He knew what she meant by saying it.  
Partly she genuinely meant that it had been a stupid idea, considering he’d had far from all information when he’d decided to act. He also guessed that she’d partly said it because the Red Room could've affected him just as much as it had affected her.  
However, since his relationship with the Red Room was incredibly different from hers, it had been just another building, not much more than a structure.   
But perhaps it wouldn't have been so simple if he'd been there for another reason than for her. If his mind had been able to focus on anything else than finding her.  
‘It was. But at least you get a comfortable ride away from here.’ he responded somewhat teasingly, wanting nothing more than to embrace her.  
Natasha laughed, opening her eyes again, looking at him with a smirk on her lips. ‘I would've found another way out, you know.’  
He let out a quiet chuckle. ‘I know.’  
‘How’d you get the idea on where to find me though?’ she asked after letting out a yawn. 

Bucky took a deep breath, casting a fleeting glance out the window. ‘I ran into one of Maven’s employees at the airport right after we’d parted. He told me she was taking you back to where you belonged. And I could only think of one place that could've meant in that situation.’ he explained calmly, something subtly shifting in her gaze. ‘So I contacted Steve.’  
A part of him wanted to ask her what Maven had done to her, but he didn’t. The last thing she needed now was to be reminded of whatever situation she’d just gotten out of.

‘Did you tell him about our past together?’ Natasha asked after a short silence, searching for clues in his expression.  
Bucky nodded. ‘He said he wished one of us had told him earlier, because then he would've known sooner that my time as the Winter Soldier hadn't only caused me pain.’  
  
She wondered what Steve was thinking at the moment, what he felt about the fact that she hadn't told him.  
He was one of the very few people who completely trusted her, and by withholding her relationship with Bucky from him, she’d more than betrayed that trust.  
A wave of intense guilt came over her as she looked towards the cockpit. She’d have to talk to him as soon as she’d rested for a while.  
She needed to explain her decision.

Bucky watched as the jet finally passed through the thick blanket of rain filled clouds, replacing the view with a dark night sky and moonlight. However, a sudden, quiet rustle coming from Natasha caught his attention, interrupting his thoughts.  
Her eyes were closed again, a relaxed expression resting on her features as she moved her hand towards him. A tickling jolt hit his stomach as she took a gentle hold of his metal hand, intertwining her fingers with his. Instantly, his heart began to beat faster, his breathing slightly shallower.  
Slowly, he responded to her touch. And as he lightly caressed the side of her hand with his thumb, a smile briefly crossed her lips.  
It hadn't lasted longer than a second, but it had still sent another jolt right through him, reminding again of how much she meant to him. Of how indescribably much he'd missed her.

Natasha could feel herself beginning to drift off, but holding his hand made her want to stay awake just a little while longer, to experience the moment for just a few seconds more.  
His new metal hand felt much smoother than the old one. No rough edges, no harshness.  
She turned her yawn into a deep sigh, her eyes almost burning with tiredness. His thumb continued to caress her skin slowly, his hand gently clutching hers, his touch light and careful, attentive.  
’I killed Maven.’ she said blankly, briefly questioning if she should tell him what had happened or not.  
But she wanted to, wanted to tell someone who could understand how she was feeling.

’She'd managed to get the Red Room’s mindwashing machine up and running, that’s why she shot me with a dose of mild anaesthesia’. Natasha began explaining, her eyes staring down at the floor blankly. ’So that she could put me in that chair.’  
What she told him, along with the hollowness of her voice had instinctively made him hold her hand a little tighter. Bucky watched her in silence, sorrow having struck him as soon as she’d uttered the first sentence.

Simultaneously as her words had taken him back to his own experiences, he thought about what must've gone through her mind in that moment, what she'd felt.  
Everything and nothing all at once.  
And seeing her in the state she was, wearing a hospital gown, her bare feet covered in mud and soil, only caused the painful lump in his gut to sting even more. It reminded him so achingly much of his time as the Winter Soldier. Of being frozen, of getting his mind wiped and brainwashed time and time again.  
Dehumanization.   
He knew there was little he could do to ease her pain, that he couldn’t undo what Maven had put her through. But he wanted her to know that he was there for her, that he would be there for her for as long as she wanted him to.

As Natasha closed her eyes again, he took her into his arms and embraced her.  
He stroke her back gently, his chin leaning against the top of her head as he held her close. It was such a simple gesture, but it was a gesture of the kind she rarely experienced. An affectionate and warm one, one that she didn’t really deserve.  
And it was with a person she thought she’d lost long ago, someone she loved beyond words.  
So despite the exhaustion of what Maven had put her through, she wanted to be awake just a little while longer. Just in case the moment would be gone when she woke up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't really find a super suitable place to break off the chapter earlier than I did. So I hope you managed to make it to the end, even though it's kind of long! XD  
> And as always, I hope you liked the chapter, aren't many left to go now! :)


	9. Sam to the rescue

‘Natasha?’ Wanda's soft, apprehensive voice called out as a hand gently landed on her shoulder. ‘We've landed.’  
Natasha unwillingly opened her eyes, inhaling deeply as she moved her aching body. She was still exhausted. Her long, restless sleep having done nothing more than given her body time to process the anaesthesia. Which, was a plus at least.  
She looked around with tired eyes, no one but Wanda to be seen.  
‘Where are the others?’ she wondered with a somewhat sleepy voice.   
‘Bucky’s gone to pick up the car and Steve’s still in the cockpit, he’s calling Sam to ask if we can stay at his place for the night.’ Wanda explained calmly, her gaze momentarily fixed on something in the distance. ‘How are you feeling?’  
Natasha blinked, staring blankly at the floor as she rose to her feet. She scratched her left wrist. The itching was due to a chafe, caused by the one of clasps that had been locked her as Maven had tied her to the metal chair.  
As she looked at it, wishing the itching would stop, she realized she couldn't really tell how or what she was feeling.

‘I.. don’t know.’ she answered earnestly as they locked eyes. ‘But at least I’m not affected by the anaesthesia anymore.’  
Wanda gave her a warm smile, putting a green backpack down on the floor. ‘That’s good.’  
‘How are you doing?’ Natasha asked, wondering how she’d handled her part of the Red Room rescue mission.  
Wanda shrugged, momentarily looking away. ‘I’m ok I guess.’ she responded softly. ‘A lot to process.’  
As they once again made eye-contact, a smile briefly crossed Natasha's lips. ‘I understand. But you did well.'  
Wanda let out a chuckle. 'Well, you're the one who told me that watching my back needed to become second nature.'  
As she spoke, Natasha couldn't help but feel a little proud. 'I did.'  
  
After a brief lull in the conversation, Wanda pointed to the backpack by her feet. ‘In this there are some spare clothes that I brought just in case. I even brought a pair of shoes and socks. I’ll leave it all here so you can change.’  
‘Thank you, Wanda.’ Natasha responded sincerely, longing to throw away her hospital gown, her wrist finally ceasing to itch.  
Wanda smiled, taking a step back. 'See you in the car.' she said warmly before putting on her jacket and heading for the exit.

When she’d gone, Natasha turned her attention to the cockpit.  
It wasn't the perfect moment to talk to Steve about everything, but it was most likely the only chance she’d have to talk to him alone in quite a while. So she decided not to wait.  
He was still on the phone, laughing about something as she entered the cockpit. However, as soon as he noticed her, his smile faded and a grave expression replaced the cheerful one.  
‘Alright Sam, I gotta go.’ he said lowly, furrowing his brows. ‘Yeah, we’ll keep in touch.’ he continued, rising from his seat. ‘Goodbye.’  
Then, with a slightly confused and concentrated look in his eyes, he hung up and put the phone back in one of the pockets of his uniform.  
  
Even though they hadn't spoken to eachother yet, the strained tension had overtaken the air between them.  
‘So, did Sam give us a place to stay for the night?’ Natasha started with a smile after a short silence.  
Steve nodded, keeping a few feet between them, not good at hiding his uneasiness.  
‘Yeah..’ he hummed with a small smirk on his lips, casting a glance at the controls. ‘And on his weekend off, no less.’  
  
Another silence passed, the tension between them more and more apparent by the second.  
‘How are you feeling, Nat?’ he asked kindly, concerned. ‘I came to check on you every now and again, but you slept every time and I didn’t want to wake you.’  
She wanted to step closer, but decided not to, at least not until the atmosphere changed for the better.  
‘I’ve.. somewhat recovered.’ she answered with a low voice. ‘Thanks for letting me sleep.’ she added, even though she still felt as tired as before.  
‘And the ones who were after you?’  
‘I managed to get out, that’s what matters.’ she responded smiling, struck with another wave of guilt as she cursed herself for being so secretive towards him.  
She noticed how the look in his eyes slightly wavered at her short, unspecific answer. It revealed how it affected him that she didn't tell him more, something that only caused her guilt to grow even further.

‘The one who took me to the Red Room,’ she continued, deciding to let him know more of what had happened. ‘was an old woman named Maven, a criminal with contacts and operations all over the world. She wanted revenge for something I did to her years ago, for infiltrating her league. She was my first mission as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.’  
‘Well if you ever need someone to talk to.’ Steve began earnestly, seeming to be a little more at ease. ‘You know I’m here.’  
‘I know.’ Natasha nodded, reminding herself of the reason for their conversation.  
  
‘Steve, about Barnes-’ she said quietly, wondering how she’d phrase herself. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.’  
It was easy for her to hide her true thoughts and feelings for most of the rest of the world, but not to him. She cared too much for him, and his trust for her truly mattered to her.   
His eyes were watching her intently, his expression unreadable as he listened closely to her words, remaining silent for a moment before he responded.  
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ he asked with a somewhat shaky voice, unable to mask his emotions.  
‘I didn’t know how I could.’ Natasha answered sincerely, having no clue how to explain herself. ‘I was unsure of how you’d react, unsure of how I’d say it the right way. Even though there probably wasn't a right way. And I’m sorry I doubted you.’  
He didn’t say anything even though his body language told her everything she needed to know. But still, he waited and listened, allowing her to continue.

‘The part of my life where I first met him is a part I don’t like to remember. The Red Room is a chapter of my past that’s difficult to talk about for more reasons than what I did in its service. And I wouldn't have been able to tell you about my relationship with Barnes without mentioning the Red Room.’  
Steve remained silent, turning his gaze away from her for a moment, his expression revealing what he didn’t say with words.  
‘But most of all I didn’t think he’d ever recognize me.’ she added lowly, crossing her arms as she stared down at the floor. ‘And I thought that if he never would, there wouldn't be any point in telling you. It would only-’ she stopped herself, not knowing how to continue.

A long silence passed, neither of them looking at one another.  
‘I understand why you didn’t tell me.’ he said suddenly, instantly causing her towards him again. ‘But still..’ he continued faintly, taking a step towards her as the tension gradually began to dissolve. ‘I wish you would have. I would've been there for you.’  
At this, a sombre smile crossed her lips. ‘If the past could be changed I would have told you. I'm sorry Steve.’  
‘At least I found out about it, and from one of you. And I’m glad I finally did.’ he said gravely, whereupon the conversation got interrupted by the sudden buzzing of his cellphone.

He took it out of his pocket again, that same concentrated expression from earlier crossing his features as he read the text he’d received.  
‘They’re waiting for us with the car.’ he said with an undertone of unwillingness in his voice.  
‘In that case, I’d better go change.’ Natasha said with a faint chuckle, both of them wishing they could've talked a little while longer as they looked at one another.

* * *

 

After a couple of knocks and a short wait, Sam opened the door to his house, gazing at each of them with a slightly stunned expression on his face.  
Wanda was in the process of yawning. Natasha was standing next to her, looking up at him with somewhat hazy eyes, holding a backpack. Bucky was carrying a grocery bag in each of his hands, whereas Steve cast a glance over his shoulder at the sound of someone walking by the driveway.

‘I have to say I’m surprised you show up at my house after a mission without looking like you’ve just been through hell and back. Although you still look like you’ve seen better days.’ Sam said with a laugh, crossing his arms. ’But just to be clear, no one’s coming after you to kill you this time, right?’ he asked somewhat apprehensively, shooting Steve a weary glance.  
‘Not at the moment at least.’ Steve said with a smile on his face.  
At this, Sam huffed a chuckle, letting them inside. ‘Well that’s reassuring.’

‘You got room for all of us?’ Steve asked light-heartedly, hanging his jacket on one of the hooks beneath the hat rack before helping Bucky with the groceries.  
‘If anything, I’ll somehow manage to make room.’ Sam answered before giving each of them a warm hug. ‘Any of you hungry?’  
All of them shook their heads simultaneously.  
‘We stopped by a fast-food drive-in on the way here and ate some burgers.’ Wanda explained, taking off her shoes before locking eyes with him. ‘Is it ok if I sleep on the living room couch again?’

‘Sure, it’s yours.’ Sam replied, looking at her somewhat confusedly.  
Upon hearing his words, a small smile crossed her lips.  
‘Thanks!’ she said cheerfully before disappearing into the bathroom.

Afterwards, Sam turned his attention to Natasha.   
‘While we're on the subject,’ he began, making eye-contact. ‘you can have the guest bedroom. I figure you need the space most out of the four of you.’ he continued gravely.  
‘Thanks Sam, I appreciate it.’ she responded gratefully, immensely happy at the thought of sleeping in a bed.  
‘No worries.’ he said warmly, taking a step towards her. ‘How are you feeling?’  
‘Tired.’ she answered with a sigh, finding it difficult not to fantasise about pillows and sheets. ‘How are you doing?’  
  
At this, he smiled, letting out a huffing chuckle. ‘I’m fine, it’s been good with some time off. I think I needed it.’  
‘Then I’m glad you got it.’ Natasha responded earnestly, turning towards the staircase.  
‘Are the towels in the usual place?’ she asked, withholding a yawn . ‘If you don’t mind, I’d like to take a shower before I go to bed.’  
‘I don’t mind.’ he answered casually as they locked eyes again. ‘And yes they’re in the usual place. If you need anything else, just let me know.’  
‘Will do.’ she said with a smile before once again focusing her attention on the stairs. ‘And thank you for letting us stay here. We owe you one.’

Upon entering the bathroom, Natasha placed the backpack next to the sink, taking out the set of pyjamas and the pair of panties that Wanda had bought for her when they‘d gone grocery shopping. She closed the backpack again, putting it next to the door.  
Then, she began to take off her clothes, her blank gaze fixed on one of the tiles on the wall. She couldn’t thank Wanda or the others enough for all that they’d done for her, she didn’t deserve it.

* * *

 

As the clock turned half past eleven, Bucky had finished making his bed for the night. The old couch squeaked and cracked loudly as he sat down on the sheets, making him wonder if similar noises would be repeated every time he moved.  
He heard someone walking up the stairs, their steps heavy and unhurried. Moments later, a yawning Sam came into view.  
He was heading towards him, carrying a slim, blue notebook along with a pen in his right hand.  
‘I see you’re getting comfortable.’ he said teasingly, sitting down beside him.  
Bucky chuckled, turning towards him. ‘As comfortable as I can get.’  
  
‘Man, this couch is old.’ Sam said with mischievously. ‘Guess that’s something you have in common.’  
The conversation was briefly interrupted by the sound of an owl hooting somewhere outside of the window, whereupon Bucky instantly smirked.  
‘You didn't tell me that a pal of yours would be visiting.’ he responded jokingly, pointing towards the window.  
At this, Sam chuckled, laying his free hand on Bucky’s shoulder. ‘That’s funny.’ he said teasingly. ‘By the way, in the newspaper this morning there was an add for a senior citizen bingo night on Saturday. You and Steve should go, you‘ll fit right in.’  
Bucky let out a laugh. ‘Yeah, maybe we should.’

Sam handed him the pen and notebook, smiling softly. ‘Here, I found this in my study. It’s completely new.’ he said warmly, watching as Bucky gently placed them on the nearby coffee table. ‘Thought it could be nice for you to have close by in case you felt like writing something down tonight.’  
Upon hearing his words, Bucky couldn’t help but think how lucky he was to have people like Sam in his life. He far from deserved it, there wasn't much in he did deserve after all he’d done, but still they were there for him. For some inexplicable reason he wasn't alone.  
‘Thanks.’ he responded gratefully as they locked eyes again.

As they grew quiet, Sam’s cheerful expression changed, his smile fading as the playful gleam in his eyes was replaced with something pensive.  
‘Listen,’ he began with a low, unexpectedly grave voice. ‘thank you for offering to take on my mission. It meant a lot to me to be able to spend the day with Riley’s family. To be able to visit his grave and take a little break from saving the world.’  
Bucky placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling reassuringly. ‘Anytime.’

Sam turned his gaze towards the floor, letting out a huffing laughter as he clapped his hands.  
‘Alright,’ he began, the couch squeaking loudly again as he rose to his feet. ‘I gotta get some sleep.’  
‘Goodnight.’ Bucky said, watching him head for his bedroom.  
Sam looked back at him over his shoulder, a smile on his face. ‘Goodnight.’

* * *

 

A few hours later, Bucky was sitting on the edge of the, to say the least, uncomfortable couch, his gaze fixed the green carpet.  
All of the others had gone to bed quite a while ago, as had he, but despite a long time of trying to sleep he still felt wide awake. And he couldn’t blame it all on the couch.

Moonlight shone in through the blinds, glistening against his metal arm as he continued to sit there. He looked up at the small TV, noting his faint reflection in its glass.  
He wondered how Natasha was doing. If she was sleepless just like him or if she’d finally been able to rest properly.  
He knew he shouldn't disturb her. She needed all the peace and quiet she could get, but he couldn’t shake his yearning to check up on her, just to make sure she was alright. Once he knew for sure, he’d maybe be able to fall asleep himself.

Inhaling deeply, Bucky stood up and began to walk towards the bathroom, wanting to splash some cold water on his face as an attempt to ignore his thoughts.  
But after having done so, he still found himself turning his gaze towards the door to her room as he hung the towel back on its hook.  
After a short and rather one-sided inner debate, he finally gave in and soundlessly headed over to her room. Carefully, he laid his hand on the door handle, pressing it down as quietly as possible.

He took a quick peak inside, the moon providing some light to the otherwise dark room. From what he could tell, she seemed to be fast asleep, the uneasy feeling in his gut instantly fading.  
However, just as he was about to head back to the couch, he accidentally bumped his metal arm against the door handle, creating a noise too loud for her not to notice.  
He instantly froze in his tracks, momentarily wincing as if his sudden stillness could undo his small debacle, even though he knew it was of no use.  
And almost immediately, her voice made him awkwardly aware of it.

‘What are you doing?’ Natasha questioned with a tired laugh, wishing she could see his expression clearer in the dark as he somewhat unwillingly turned towards her.  
‘I just wanted to check up on you.’ he said with a voice almost as low and careful as a whisper. ‘Sorry I woke you up.’  
‘You didn't. Don’t worry.’ she responded reassuringly as she sat up, struck with a longing to be near him.  
  
She still quite hadn't managed to fall asleep, despite of how badly she needed to. She’d been kept awake by her own thoughts as she’d tried to process everything that had transpired since she’d woken up in the Red Room.   
Every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was different images from it all.  
Wanda fighting off a guard as she herself used up the bullets in the AK-47 on two more, Maven's words, the chair and the mindwashing machine, her own, emotionless eyes staring back at her.   
She saw all of the rooms she'd passed, all of the corridors and hallways they'd walked through on their way out, all of the walls and floors carrying little traces of her past.  
She saw the look in Bucky's eyes as he'd noticed her, remembered the fear she'd felt when Maven had unveiled her plan, how her hand had faintly trembled as she'd pulled the trigger on the revolver.  
Flashbacks that all together made it very difficult to find some rest.

He let out a quiet chuckle, his hand on the door handle again. 'Oh, good. See you tomorrow.'   
‘Wait,’ Natasha pleaded as he began to walk away. ‘if you want to you can stay with me. Might be a little more comfortable than the couch.’ she offered as a smile spread across her lips.

Bucky once again froze in his tracks as her sentence replayed in his mind, her unexpected offer almost having caused his heart to skip a beat.  
Moments later, after having processed her words, he stepped into the room, quietly closing the door behind him as he walked towards the bed.

She scooted over, giving him one of her pillows as he pulled the warm sheet over his body. She reached out and drew a few a strands of his hair back behind his ear, her touch gentle and tentative, a little unsure. But despite the uncertainty of everything, despite of how easily they could be drawn back into the sorrows of their relationship, he knew he didn’t want to be anywhere else if it meant being further away from her.   
The sudden coldness of her toes made him chuckle as she drew one of her legs up a little. He leaned his forehead against hers for a moment, smiling as he thought of just how unbelievable it was that what he was experiencing was actually happening.   
And as they embraced one another, he closed his eyes, a pleasant tiredness coming over him.  
  
The cold of his metal arm against her skin sent shivers down her spine as her body adjusted to its lower temperature. The fact that it was a new arm, and not the old one, brought her peace of mind. She listened to his deep breaths, knowing he was slowly drifting off just like she was. It was in that very moment that she realized just how much she’d missed him, many of the thoughts that had haunted her gone from her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that the next chapter will be the last one (haven't decided for sure though). And unfortunately I'm going away for a few days so I won't be able to post is as soon as I usually update the story, and for that I apologize. :/  
> But I promise that I will try my very best to post it as soon as I can, but it'll most likely be a few days.  
> However, it is kind of good that I won't be able to update super quickly, since I haven't really decided what the ending of the story will look like yet. XD  
> So a few days to think will probably do me good. :) 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you'll read the next chapter as well when I'll be able to post it, it won't take super long that I can guarantee! :)


	10. Soldier, spy, assassin, human

The following morning, Natasha was the first one to wake up.  
She inhaled deeply, yawning silently as she realized that the exhaustion of the day before was finally gone. She opened her eyes, finding herself looking at the blinds covering the windows.

She was laying on her side, Bucky’s metal arm resting heavily around her waist, his human arm beneath her pillow, and one of his legs between hers as if he was in the process of hugging her with his entire body.  
Carefully, Natasha moved out of his warm embrace, not wanting to wake him up. Once free, she rolled over on her stomach, turning to look at him.  
A smile spread across her lips as she observed him for a moment. His breathing was calm and rhythmic, his mouth slightly open, his cheek pressed against the pillow. Some of his hair had fallen in front of face, his expression completely relaxed.  
Something about the way he was sleeping made it difficult for her not to lean in and kiss him, but she resisted the urge. She figured he needed all the rest he could get.

After a little while, she sat up, stretching her arms up towards the ceiling before she moved to the edge of the bed and allowed her toes to touch the floor. Then, she rose to her feet, soundlessly sneaking out of the bedroom.

As she walked, she focused for a moment on how it felt as the bare soles of her feet hit the floor, how the smooth surface of the wooden floorboards felt against her skin. A contrast to what it had felt like to trample through the mud on her agonizing walk away from the Red Room.  
To be able to be exactly where she was, to be able to get up and move around as she pleased, to be in control of her body and her life, felt indescribably good.

After having entered the upstairs hallway, Natasha had to stop for a moment, her feet caressing the fuzzy carpet she was standing on. She stretched out one of her hands towards the nearest wall, feeling its texture against her fingertips as she moved them. Soon, she reached a framed picture, caressing its silver frame as she thought about how incredibly lucky she was to do something as simple as just that.

Eventually, she moved towards the staircase, looking around as she took in the present.  
She could hear the faint voices of Steve, Sam and Wanda coming from somewhere downstairs. They were talking and laughing about something.  
She couldn’t help but wonder where she’d be at the moment if Maven had succeeded with her plan, just how much of her life that would've been taken from her memory.  
The thought was almost unbearable, instantly making it a little difficult to breathe. But at the same time, it all felt like nothing more than a distant blur. Like it hadn't actually happened.

She figured that what Maven had put her through would come back to haunt her some time in the future, just like the rest of her past did. But at least for now, for the moment, she was safe. Besides, even if everything that Maven had put her through had been excruciatingly painful, she’d been through worse.  
She'd been through worse, been pushed to her breaking point before, and survived.

Natasha headed down the stairs, reminding herself of everything she needed to do. She needed to contact Omar and Nicole. But above all, she needed to start rebuilding the parts of her web that had been compromised. She needed to keep moving, that was all she could do.

* * *

 

The very loud noise of a couple of birds bickering on one of the windowsills, caused an abrupt end to Bucky’s sleep.  
He sighed heavily, not quite ready to open his eyes just yet. As he took a deep breath, he rolled over towards Natasha’s side of the bed, only to find she wasn't there. Instead, there was a yellow post-it note on her pillow.  
He took a hold of it, reading the words she’d written on it with a smile on his face.

_‘Something to write down in that journal of yours: our night together after the Los Angeles mission.’_

With the note still clutched in his hand, Bucky turned his head towards the windows, warm rays of sunlight making their way in through the blinds.  
He stretched his arms, yawning as he rubbed his face with his hands. Unhurriedly, he sat up, moving to the edge of the bed as the birds finally grew silent and flew away.  
He sat there for a while, reading Natasha’s note a couple of times.  
It felt so strange that he could actually do something as simple as that. To just sit on a bed, a comfortable one at that, and read.

He fixed his gaze on his metal arm, moving its fingers as he once again was reminded of that it was an arm he’d never had to use for something against his own will. He couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he could actually sit there, without fear that someone would take it all away at any second.

The mattress gave away a quiet squeak as he rose to his feet, dragging them along the wooden floor for a few steps before starting to walk properly.  
He headed for the couch he’d been unable to sleep on, the house completely silent.  
The notebook that Sam had given him was still laying on the coffee table. He took it up and opened it to the first page, carefully sticking Natasha’s post-it note on it before closing the notebook again and putting it back on the table.

As he a while later made his way downstairs, he still hadn't heard anything from the others, which made him incredibly weary as to what time it actually was. Outside, the sun was shining brightly, the sky blue and cloudless.  
Not early in the morning, then.  
Lost in thought, Bucky headed towards the kitchen with unhurried steps, his stomach starting to rumble as he scratched his back. He passed by the study where Steve had spent the night on a mattress, but he was nowhere to be seen. The study, just like the hall and the living room were empty.  
But upon entering the kitchen, he suddenly found himself not alone anymore.

Natasha was sitting on the counter, not far from the sink, a half-eaten piece of toast in her hand. She was still wearing the white tank top and chequered shorts she‘d slept in, her hair messy.  
She’d noticed him the second he’d come into view, a playful gleam in her green eyes as they looked at eachother.

‘Hello.’ she called out teasingly, the subtle smirk on her lips sending a faint shiver down his spine.  
‘Good morning.’ Bucky greeted her cheerfully, a smile spreading across his face as he walked towards her.  
She took another bite of her toast before putting it on the plate beside her, brushing the bread crumbles on her fingertips onto the plate. He watched her for a moment as he leaned against the kitchen table. There was always a certain lightness to her movements, both on and off the battlefield.

‘Everyone else awake yet?’ he asked her as they once again made eye-contact.  
‘Yes, you actually out-slept everyone.’ Natasha answered with a chuckle, dangling her feet in the air as she spoke. ‘They’re all still out jogging, although I’m not too sure just how much exercising they’re getting done as supposed to pulling tricks on eachother to be the first one back here.’  
‘That actually wouldn't surprise me at all.’ he mumbled as he found himself hoping that Steve or anyone else of them wouldn't do anything stupid, which was usually a hope in vain.

‘Thanks for the note by the way.’ he said warmly, looking at her in a way that made it very difficult for her not to smile. ‘It was a nice thing to wake up to.’  
‘Couldn't help myself.’ she responded light-heartedly, memories from the mission she’d thought of when she’d written the note replaying in her mind.  
But as she remembered it all, she was struck with a sudden sorrow upon realizing that it had also been one of their last missions together.

As Bucky thought of their Los Angeles mission, his mind had gotten stuck on the post card he’d given her the morning after.  
It had been a cheap post card he’d bought in the hotel lobby for the loose change he’d had in his pockets.  
Since he’d had another mission waiting for him, he’d had to leave much earlier than her. But before he left, he had wanted to give her something, felt so strongly in his gut that he wouldn't have been able to get going without doing so.

So as soon as his alarm had woken him up, he’d gone down to the lobby and searched their small selection of post cards.  
The one he’d chosen hadn't been one of a beautiful scenery, or of different photographs of the city. No, he’d picked the one with four, brightly smiling men, posing on the beach in matching, neon-yellow Speedos. Because he’d known it would have made her laugh.  
Then, he’d borrowed a pen from the reception. He’d intended to write something in Russian, since that at the time was what he’d thought to be his native language.  
But when the pen had touched the paper, he’d only written one sentence. In English.

_‘I love you.’_

He hadn't known why he’d written it in English, or how he could've even felt something like love, so for a moment he’d simply stood there in the lobby and stared at the post card. That seemingly simple action had soon after led to memories of his earlier life, as Bucky, returning to him in a way that eventually had become unmanageable.  
After having finished writing it, he’d given the pen back to the receptionist with a polite smile, and headed back to the hotel room. And there, he’d placed the post card on the bedside table next to Natasha’s side of the bed, before having given her a quick kiss on the cheek and having sneaked out of the room again.

Thinking back on it was painful.  
To know that it had been one of the last times he’d seen her before Hydra had put him back in cryo with a once again altered memory.  
That what he'd written on the post card, and the fact that he'd written it in English, had enabled him to see glimpses of his past before becoming the Winter Soldier. That it had been those glimpses that had begun to make him unstable during missions, and that it a while later had lead to his and Natasha's relationship being discovered by their handlers.  
But still, it was a memory he cherished. Because in that moment, he had felt genuinely happy.  
  
He cast a glance at her, smiling at her as he briefly studied her features. Then, the post card crossed his mind again. He re-read his own words, remembering every ounce of happiness he’d felt when he’d written them. Words that to this day still were true.  
A part of him wanted to ask her if she still had the post card, but he decided not to, knowing the answer most likely would be a no.

Natasha took a slow sip of her orange juice, watching as he opened the fridge and took out the milk. Then, her gaze drifted towards her feet.  
She wondered if he remembered the post card he’d given her when he’d left early the morning after the mission.  
The brilliantly tacky motif had managed to make her laugh as soon as she’d looked at it, and what he’d written on the back still managed to cause a jolt to hit her stomach.

She wasn't someone who kept anything personal, since it was a risk in her line of work. But that post card had been different.  
She’d kept it for quite a while after he’d left it for her, even after their handlers had made him forget her. Every time she’d tried to throw it away, she’d stopped herself, something inside of her having been unable to let it go.  
Until after Odessa.  
After Odessa, she’d taken out the post card from where she’d kept it, and finally gotten rid of it.

* * *

 

They had fallen into a long silence, Natasha taking another bite of her toast as Bucky took out a bowl.  
But as he reached for the box of cereal on the top shelf of the pantry, she spoke again, her words nearly stopping him in his movements.  
‘I searched for you after I left the KGB. Used all my contacts, all my resources, but I couldn’t find you.’ she said with a low, blank voice.

Her words hit him like a dagger, cutting through him agonizingly slow as their past once again resurfaced in his mind.  
He turned to look at her, instantly recognizing the expression on her face, an expression he was all too familiar with himself. She was in the past. Reliving a memory that brought her pain.

‘And a few months after I stopped searching, you were suddenly there. In Odessa.’ she continued after a short pause, her sentence dragging him into what he could remember of the same encounter.  
‘I saw that dead look in your eyes when you raised your rifle at me, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to stop you. I knew you didn’t recognize me.’ she said as a faint, joyless smile crossed her lips.  
‘So to have you here now…’ she mumbled quietly, examining her hands as she subtly moved them.

Bucky searched her expression for something, although he didn’t know what.  
His innate reaction was to reach out to her, but he ignored it, knowing she needed to say every word, no matter how painful.  
There was nothing he could say that would change the past. No way to go back to DC or Odessa and stop himself from attacking her, to make himself remember her earlier.

Natasha wanted him to say something, anything, to bring her back to the present. She took a deep breath, turning her gaze to the window as she exhaled.  
She watched the way the sunlight shone through the sheer, striped curtains. Then, her eyes observed how the winds played with the green leaves of the trees in Sam’s backyard, and how a squirrel quickly darted across the wooden patio.  
She knew that Bucky was waiting for her to give him some sort of sign, but she couldn’t bare to face him just yet.  
  
And when she after another long silence finally dared to look at him, he spoke.  
‘I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you, Natasha. If I could do anything to change the past I would.’ he said earnestly, his eyes filled with pain. ‘I’m sorry.’

She shook her head. It wasn't his fault.  
‘Don’t blame yourself for it James.’ she responded earnestly, knowing all too well her words would have little affect.

Despite how much hurt there was in their shared past, and in how many ways it was still difficult for her to think about, the only thing Natasha wanted was to have him back in her life. Regardless of any potential consequences.  
Because for some reason, the risks were nothing compared to everything his presence gave her. She still longed for his body against hers. For his voice, his laughter, for everything he was.

‘I shot at you too, remember?’ she added with a soft chuckle, briefly smiling.  
At this, Bucky clenched his jaw, once again finding himself restraining his urges to step towards her.  
Even though he was the one responsible for their fights in the past, and all of the times she’d attacked him had purely been to defend herself or someone else, he could still see that Natasha blamed herself.  
Not for the shooting, kicking, or punching, no. But for not being able to find him when she’d searched for him.  
If their roles had been reversed, he knew he would have felt the same way as she did.  
But she shouldn't have to.

‘All of what we did to eachother, that we couldn’t stay together,’ he began softly, ignoring the part of him that told him he should feel nothing but guilt. ‘isn't your fault either.’ he continued, her eyes widening slightly as he spoke, her expression for once revealing everything going on inside her mind.  
‘Neither of us are to blame.’  
Natasha remained silent for a moment, deep in thought as her gaze once again drifted away from him and onto her surroundings.  
‘I know.’ she responded after a while, her voice faint and a little husky.

They both longed  so much for one another, to be closer to eachother. There was a tension between them filled with so much yearning that it felt as though it was sparking with electricity.  
And as they moments later once again made eye-contact, they dared to break the final barrier between them.

Natasha placed a hand on his stubbly cheek as he closed the distance between them, the world around them disappearing as their lips at long last met again.  
He pulled her towards him, her fingers running through his hair as she allowed his hands to explore her body, her legs one by one wrapping around his hips as he brought her even closer to him.  
Tongues intertwined, the kiss deepening into a messy, fiery passion, both of them wanting to make up for every day spent apart, every moment lost.

Her skin remembered his hands, the gentle playfulness of his touch, as if all those years they’d been separated had never happened. He let out a low, growling moan into her mouth, as she with a teasing lightness brought her hand up beneath his t-shirt and caressed his back. His breathing had become heavy and uneven, his hands eager.  
As she brought her hand forward, brushing past his ribs, his teeth delicately bit her lower lip, his somewhat shaky movements making it clear just how badly he wanted her.

They briefly opened their eyes, both of them looking at the other with yearning gazes. She caressed his features with her soft, wet lips, her every wavering breath drawing him in closer, intoxicating him further. He took a hold of her cheeks, kissing her again as she rested her hands on his waist.  
Her body, their shared rhythm, was so familiar. It was perhaps the only part of them that time hadn't changed at all, the one thing about them that was still the same.

Their increasingly rougher movements, caused the plate along with the small piece of toast left on it, to get pushed into the sink with a loud clatter. Seconds later, the last of the orange juice left in Natasha’s glass was spilled out on the counter as the glass was knocked over, but neither of them noticed.  
Then, he slightly withdrew himself, smirking at the way she pulled him back towards her with her legs.  
He responded by letting his hands slip up beneath the hem of her t-shirt, slowing down the tempo as he planted kisses along her jaw line and her neck. His metal hand travelled down beneath her, grabbing a firm hold of her as his other arm steadied her back.  
She leaned towards him again, their lips locking once more as he lifted her down from the counter.

His hands reluctantly left her body as he raised his arms up in order for her to pull off his t-shirt. However, just as the black fabric slid up his arms, reality harshly reminded itself through the sound of Sam, Steve and Wanda returning from their run. Suddenly, they realized they were standing in Sam’s kitchen, perhaps not the most suitable environment at the moment.  
With an aching unwillingness, Bucky and Natasha pulled away from one another. But despite the sudden change of situation, he couldn’t wipe the smirk off of his face as he hastily put his t-shirt back on completely.

He licked his lips, wanting nothing more than to kiss her again. It felt as though he was about to giggle with every breath he took,  something that briefly took him back to his younger self, before the war.  
To the Bucky that felt as though life was full of possibilities, the Bucky who had looked forward to the future and all it had in store.

‘We should probably stop before any of them burst into the room.’ Natasha whispered with a huffing chuckle as he caressed her arms and placed a kiss on her forehead.  
He laughed, casting a fleeting glance at the open doorframe, the voices of the others growing louder and louder.  
‘We probably should.’ he responded as they once again locked eyes.  
She smiled playfully as she pulled him towards her and quickly kissed him again.  
And in that moment with her, all of the different parts of him, Bucky, James, The Winter Soldier, and whoever he was now, were at rest.  
All of them thanking him for daring to reach out to her.  
  
As Bucky began to take care of everything that had fallen into the sink, Natasha took a hold of some paper towels and swiftly dried all of the orange juice that had spilt out on the counter, noticing then that some of it had stained her shorts. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, smirking as he briefly met her gaze.   
She knew that their quiet moment would end any second, but it didn't bother her. Because for a change, she had gotten someone back instead of having someone taken away. 

* * *

Moments later, Sam entered the kitchen, still panting slightly from the run.   
’So everyone’s finally awake?’ he questioned jokingly, a wide smirk on his lips as he greeted them.   
’How did the run go?’ Bucky asked, watching as Sam poured himself a glass of water.   
’If Steve hadn't gone all Super Soldier on us at the end, he wouldn't have been the first one to reach the porch.’ Sam answered after having taken a couple of gulps, moving out of Natasha’s way as she reached into the bowl of fruit standing on the kitchen table.

’You sure about that?’ Steve laughed as he came into the room, smiling as he nodded towards Bucky and Natasha on his way to the fridge.   
’Oh, I’m quite sure.’ Sam responded with a huffing chuckle, crossing his arms as he leaned against the table. ’But next time, Wanda needs to put in some effort.’ he added teasingly as Wanda passed by the open doorframe, glancing at her mischievously.   
’No I don’t, I almost got back here first.’ she mumbled casually before disappearing upstairs.

As Bucky and Steve began to prepare their respective breakfasts, Sam ushered Natasha to come closer, a grave expression quickly replacing his relaxed one as she headed towards him. It instantly struck an uneasy feeling in her gut, something telling her she wouldn't particularly like what he was about to tell her.   
’Nat, something else happened during the run.’ he said with a low, almost whispering voice.   
’What?’ she asked blankly, taking another bite out of her apple as she wondered why he’d suddenly become tense.

’I received a call.’ he began, taking out his phone from the pocket of his dark-green hoodie. ’But it wasn't for me, it was for you.’   
The second he’d uttered those words, the uneasy feeling in her gut amplified, hitting her with an all too familiar hunch. Perhaps, she wasn't quite out of the woods yet.

She took a deep, calm breath, mentally preparing herself for whatever was to come, thankful she’d at least gotten the opportunity to eat breakfast.  
’The caller, what did they say?’ she inquired after a short silence, not sure whether or not she wanted him to answer.   
He faintly shook his head, his brows furrowing as he looked away, a pensive, almost worrisome look in his eyes.   
’She only said that you should call her back as soon as possible, and that it was raining in Amsterdam.’ Sam mumbled as they once again made eye-contact. ’Does that mean anything to you?’ he asked gravely, handing her his phone. 

By now, Natasha’s hunch had gotten confirmed.   
But at the same time, the uneasy feeling in her stomach was gone, as she finally had learned the identity of the caller, which significantly altered the situation.   
’Don’t worry.’ Natasha began, unable to know yet if her words of calm actually had any meaning. ’She’s an associate of mine. Did she call from this number?'  
Sam nodded, placing a hand on her shoulder. ’I know you can handle whatever’s going on, but be careful Natasha.’ he said lowly, sounding concerned.  
’Mind if I call her back from your phone?’ she asked as he began to walk back to the others.   
’I trust you.’ He answered sincerely, a small smile briefly crossing his lips.

Not wanting to waste any time, Natasha quickly exited the kitchen.   
She headed for the downstairs study with hasty, silent steps, closing the door behind her before making the call. It didn’t take more than a couple of seconds for the recipient to pick up.   
’What happened to your phone?’ Nicole immediately questioned with a mixture of annoyance and apprehension.  
’I actually don’t know.’ Natasha answered earnestly, not having any clue as to what Maven had done to it.   
’It took me eight and a half hours to track you down and find a number I could call.’ Nicole said complainingly. ’You do realize how much time that is for me, right?’  
At this, Natasha couldn’t help but chuckle, despite Nicole’s tone of voice.   
’I do.’ she answered with a smirk, looking out the window at a woman walking her dog. ’I take it you have something urgent to tell me?’  
’Yeah.’ Nicole responded gravely. ’Something’s come up.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand, that concludes the last chapter of this fanfic, I really hope you all enjoyed how it ended! :)  
> I want to thank all of you who have left comments and kudos, it's really meant a lot to me. 
> 
> When it comes to writing a possible sequel, I've decided not to. At least not for now.  
> And that is simply because I know that I probably won't be able to have the time to write one. And because as of now, I have no clear idea of what a sequel would look like. And if I write something more I want it to be good! :)
> 
> But I still don't want to completely rule out the possibility of a sequel. I really like to write, and I would love to write another story some day. I might do a one-shot or two or something like that if the inspiration kicks in. :) 
> 
> As I said, I hope you liked my ending, and I apologize if you felt that it was overly fluffy or something but I just couldn't help myself. XD


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